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Oh yes, i just heard on the radio news that David Beckham is to star in a film called 'Real' about his move to Real Madrid. And he gets to play himself. Lets hope he is better at acting than he is at being a husband :D .

AKA- the best bit of Viz. A selection of some of my faves from this month's edition: Alchopopscotch - The nimble-pavement hopping required to aviod stepping in brightly-hues vomit when proceeding down Preston Road, Hull, on a friday night out. Bachelor's Boomerang- A rock-hard sock found...

You have, in an anything goes fight: A polar bear A feck off huge silverback gorilla A crocodile A big bengal tiger. Put them all in a ring togehter, which do you reck would win. For me its the tiger every time, it has speed, teeth and claws. It can jump and pounce, yet at the same time...

Right you get up late for work, no time to make your butties. You have no cash, but hey- no worries the lunch box fairies have left you something ace in the works fridge. In mine would be a lovely cheese and onion roll (granery), a packet of nice and spicy nik naks to put on the roll, a little...

When i ws stuck in traffic with my boyfriend the other week, i invented a game to pass the time. Its called 'What would be the worse way to die across the ages'. Fun eh? Right, i think that being put on a big bommy with the flames licking your feet like a suspected witch would be horrific, but...

You know those in your year at school, perhaps they were never really your friend or maybe you just never kept in touch. Well if you see them in the street do you usually say hi, wave or something- or just ignore them. I always find this hard, its like playing chicken in acknowledgment form...

How do you find these then? I went into one yesterday, and even for a rock hard carnivore i find the smell very bizzare and all death carcass like. The butcher had smeared blood all over his hands, and equivalent to about 2 pints worth all over his overall. When it came to paying, i tried to...

Mine is shit. Whats is your one then? :)

Do you ever have these, where you really beat yourself up? The kind of days when your mum wittering on about your ace/clever/skinny/blah blah sister finally gets to you, or where it just seems that everybody else is really good at everything and you're, well crap. Or your shit hair just takes...

Prog on chan 4 about this at 10, looks quite good. :)

My, my what an exiting life i lead.......... I am trying to grout the tiles in the kitchen, i am using an od cash card to spread the pre-mixed grout into the tiles. Now when i come to wipe off the 'spent' bits from the tile face, i just keep wiping all the grout out from inbetween as well. Its...

You know that Roger Sanchez (sp?) 'another chance', did the video feature a lady carrying her heart around, that would grow and shrink throughout? I say yeah but my friend says nay, anyone settle this bet? :)

If singing in church was on The Krypton Factor i reck no-one would be able to do it right its that hard. Is it me or are all the notes of the song in no partic order, going up and down the scale more than Mariah 'get me puppies, i want a white dressing room blah blah' Carey. I mean, if you can...

It can be of any genre, from anytime- no rules. For me it would have to be Smashing Pumpkins with their lovley '1979'. It is to me, what Teenage Kicks is (or was) to John Peel. I don't know if i was seduced by the video, the beauty of the lyrics all cryptic and needing picking apart- or the...

I have seen lots of theese at late, just random shoes in the middle of the road. Sometimes on their side, other times standing up in a comedy fashion like they are off somewhere on a jaunt. And they are always really wank shoes, like Tommy Ball 99p'ers. Big black daft things. Where do they come...

Right Jonno got a load of new fireworks in, nomally we drive out to a field or something. Anyhew last night we had too much to drink and so decided to let them off in the front of the house, on the little garden bit. Trouble was, we sort of got a tiny bit carried away, and decided to do a team...

Hi all, I am after a track (or to hear it at least to see if it as good as i remember) by Pop Will Eat Itself. Its from around 90, and its called Cicciolina. It is a partic mix i am after, and i can rule out the 'touched by the hand of...' if that helps. The one i am after is a little more...

Is anyone going to this next wednesday? I just spotted an ad for it earlier, and would love to go. As i was driving i did'nt catch all the deets. Anyone offering info re: tickets and times etc? Cheers :)

Has anyone been watching this absolute beaut from BBC3? I love his psychic dog Sheba, plus his great hair-do.Its easily the best thing on tv this year, had me in stiches from start to finish. Its on tonight at 11ish. :)

All right all! What is everyone upto then? Me, i just had a shite shite shite chinese, salt and peper ribs (over cooked and not enough chilli) and a poor sweet and sour chicken (just tasted of vinigar, which started of a chain of events where i was thinking of vinigar tits, then bea, then...