3 Quid.

[Amelie]

Picture this. Its a sat night and you're dead dead stoned, say you have been on mega strong skunk such as blue cheese or summat. You drank a few beers or whatever a few hours ago and you have the munchies to fuck. Probs is that your cupboards are about as bare as Old Mother Hubbards and as its gone 9 Londis is shut (so out with the loaf and toast topper option!).

You can just about drag your sorry arse to the chippy down the road. All you have is £3.00. Just to throw a spanner into the works you have no pop or milk in- but all manner of brew making paraphernalia and of course water.

What would you get from the menu below:

Chips 90p Peas & Gravy 50/90p
Large chips £1.40 Curry 65p/£1.00
Fish £1.80 Scallop 45p
Small Saus 50p
Fishcake £1.00 (does anyone ever get these )
Large Saus 95p
Pies £1.10
Steak kid pud £1.20 (i think the pastry on these is like the skin of a body washed up on the beach, bluerghhh)
That wierd cheeseburger chippy's do £1.50
Chick Nugg's (6) £1.25
Buttered barm 50p
Buttered bread (per slice) 30p
Cans of pop 60p
Milk 60p
Scraps free*

For me it would be small chips, small sausage, small peas, a barm and milk for brews. I would make a chip and pea barm, eat the remainding chips and saus on thier own and just drink water, then have a brew for afters.

*Whilst free in terms of money, lets be honest you pay loads shame-wise in asking for them.

 

[Amelie]

In addition to fishcakes being something i just don't get, why on earth to people like chips with curry and peas

Btw, the curry above does not have currants in, as that is just wrong. I am open to mushrooms/onions in the gravy but keep the currants the fuck away for any chippy tea thanks.

 

[coggledots]

One question? I may be stating the obvious here, but are you stoned by any chance lmfao.

1st post in what seems like yrs & we get the chippies menu lol

 

[Amelie]

One question? I may be stating the obvious here, but are you stoned by any chance lmfao.

1st post in what seems like yrs & we get the chippies menu lol

Is it that obvious?

 

[Doddy]

what is a barm

 

[pete-nic]

50p for a buttered barm ....the robbin bastards ....30p for a slice of bread with butter what they buttering it with gold plating barms a t-cake doddy

 

[Doddy]

I just googled it lol & to me it looks exactly like a muffin .

Id buy - Chips & Gravy with a small sausage & a buttered Muffin

 

[Mesh]

My head is actually chocker looking at the list
I reck I would go for:
Large chips £1.40+
Curry 65p+
Large Saus 95p

but then would have to borrrow 60 penger for a can of Dandelion and Burdock baby

 

[JD7]

Is it that obvious?

Just a little.

Deffo make sure on having milk for brewup's

However I do like Mesh's D&B fetish


So milk, small chips, small sausage and curry sauce for the win. The remaining 35p would be donated to Mesh for her want of a can. She already knows that I 'always hand back over the cash'

 

[U31]

Is it actually possible to eat a full portion of chips to yourself?

 

[T.C]

Pah, I'd have what I nearly always have from t'chippy... the stupendous, cant be beaten scran of sausage, chips and beans. But seeing as this is clearly one of those amateur bloody non-home chippys that doesnt do beans (I will never ever get my head round that) I will buy just the 1st two, and maybe a buttered COB, () then go home in a huff and cook some beans of my own. So there!.
*grumble grumble*

and I also find it quite strange that practically every chippy oop north seems to have / be a chinese takeaway too
The closest we've ever got to that is having one in the next door building, owned by the same owners, but manned by different 'crews' :|

Chip shop politics. We're right , you're all kinds of wrong.


but Amelie... with you on the Sultana / Curry Sauce thing... ming

 

[speedysnail]

I wonder how many more inches you get for 45p

I'm probably the only person in the world who doesn't like chips so I'd just go for a fish and a pie

 

[stetheboro]

You aint in no Scottish Chippy

I honestly used to love the following and I'm English

King Ribs - The ultimate in greasy fried snacks available from british "chippies" or chip shops; A chopped and shaped pork patty flavoured with either barbeque or chinese seasoning, doused in batter then deep fried. Mmmmmm heart attacks never tasted so good.

Fried Haggis

Fried Blackpudding

And you know how good a can of Dandelion and Burdock would be right now but I have a hard enough time tracking down Robinsons Orange Barley Water, Irn-Bru and Lucozade here in the US.

 

[Sheikh Yerbouti]

30p for a slice of bread & butter??
You can get half a loaf for that, the dirty rob dogs.

In that case, on principle I'd be spending the bare minimum in there, and extracting the maximum value possible.
Pint of milk: No avoiding this (and i'm not talking about my chopper).
Small/large chips: Depending how hungry you are.
That's it. They're not getting another brass button out of me.

You can usually get a few more chips as well if you embarrass them while they're serving up... you just say in a loud voice summat like "Gwaaan... get a few more shovels in there you tight cnuts". Usually works. Then, just to make a point, insist on doing your own salt & vinegar & really load up on the fuckers. Make sure you get your money's worth. Oh and even if you're going posh & having them at home, always ask for a chip fork & then pinch about 20.

It's important to be thrifty. There's a recession on after all.