Beat this for total embarassment from start to finsh :(

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Amelie

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Sep 6, 2003
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If anyone can beat my day i will give them a fiver :) .

Right last night got chatted up by a visiting Yank, named John ) or Jaaan as he called himself. He was really American, in the worst possible way and i gave him a false name (Elizabeth, and as he exclaimed 'wow geez like the queen, i would also like to add i was his second choice, he had already been knocked back by my friend).

This morn i take my family (complete with mother, sister, nieces etc) en mass to Williamson park to look at the lovely butterflies in the butterfly house, and someone is shouting 'Liz, hey Liz' over and over. Yes Jaan was running towards me and my mum and sister all hysterical and delighted. I try to turn away but my mum points out its me hes running to and gesticulating wildly at. So hes saying Liz how great to see you, and my mum and sister are looking at me like i am mad. And all i can think is fuck, fuck, fuck fuck. To cut it short i managed to escape but once again my family despair.

I get home and decide that i will infact change my life, no more love handles, no more boozy nights out that make me ashamed the day after. And it is going to start by walking to the supermarket 3 miles away to buy healthy (tasteless) things for my tea. So off i set wishing i had not put my coat on, but not wanting to tie my coat round my waist as it would draw attention to my love handles. I finally get there all sweaty, the way when your hair is matted to your head and you're all bad tempered and hot.

And out he walks, the person who i thought was god as a teen ( worry not i am now a complete athesist in this respect) with this really glamorous Lady, and i mean a lady lady on his arm. He introduced me to Miss World as someone who he had a weird sort of fling with when we were young, which felt shit because actually i was madly in love and he broke my heart. So i was doing a crazy eye bulging look at him and she was doing the same at him for never mentioning it prior presumably (girls you will know what i mean, we like full deets eh). And after much pathetic small talk i dive straight into the loo's to see quite how much of a state i managed to look.

I had a bright red face from power walking, i had a rather unattractive sweaty forehead with hair all stuck flat against it, and what i can only describe as broccoli juice around my mouth from the liquid veggy drink i had before i set of. It seemed the only thing i could do to stop myself from crying was to buy a nice ready meal from the posh range and a chocolate eclair for tea.

Beat that!
 
A

Amelie

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Sep 6, 2003
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Oh and forgot to add the bit where i saw a dead bird on the way to Asda that made me feel all mortal and morbid, and although i was tempted to kick it to see if it was maggoty- i resisted for fear of nightmares.

:)
 
J

JD7

Member
Aug 5, 2004
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Glasgow
hands over virtual £5 to Amelie - hell uva day u had - hope tomorrow is brighter.

Only bad thing today for me was - WORKING !!! at 07:00 argh, glad I'm finished now.
 
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ilovepiano

Active member
Jul 9, 2002
5,329
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I wouldn't worry about it too much.

I bet you a fiver that...

1. Mr God, who was once the most amazing guy in the world , is now seriously not that amazing.

2. His Miss World supermodel girlfriend is probably not that amazing either. Most likely a case of "what she lacks for in her mind is made up by the legs, ass, tits etc.."

There's nowt wrong with getting all sweaty and having bad hair. That's just normal innit? I reckon women are so much more attractive when they're not trying to be attractive, if you know what I mean. Stuff the 6 inches of makeup, and the hair that takes 2 hours to do, and the outfit that costs the Earth. I'd sooner have a girl who wasn't affraid to get up in the morning and go to lectures in her PJ's and not even bother brushing her hair. That would be fooing ace! :)
 
J

Jiglo

Active member
Mar 21, 2005
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Wigan
That's is pretty bad and I can't beat that today lol.

Although I remember a few years ago, I went on one of those adult weekends at Butlins (the one in Wales that's spelt nothing like it sounds) with my mates. We went out this night and there was a Meatloaf tribute band playing. They seemed pretty good, so we stayed watching them. Anyway there was a really tasty looking bird on stage (with an excellent voice) and she was doing all the female vocals and duets. Anyway people occasionally threw items onto the stage and she occasionally threw the odd item into the crowd.

This one time she went back stage and came out spinning around some underwear around her finger. I thought "I'm having those if they come my way". As luck would have it, they headed in my direction so I stuck my hand up and caught them and to show her my appreciation, I stuck them on my head. When I took them off my mates were laughing at me. "Aye, jealous fucks!" I thought. I looked around and most people near me were either laughing or staring in disbelief (as in "What the fuck is he on?"). So to show them I didn't give a shit, I stuck them on my head again.

As I took them off, I looked at them closely and I thought "These don't look like ladies knickers, they look like some fella's briefs". My mates (and some of the crowd) were in Hysterics at this point, as I made my way to the toilets retching all the way :cry:

Thank the Lord that non of my mates can remember that night, or else i'd have had to sell 'em to gypo's :)
 


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