Can males and females ever be platonic friends?

[cam]

I know jelousy is not good, but lets have it right, we all feel it sometimes, an if yer don't at least get a twinge sometimes, then yer can't really feel that much for yer partner.

so would ya say if you dont get jealous over your partner that you dont love them or you trust them implicitly ?

I personally wouldnt get jelous over my ball and chain going out with another bloke, i'd go up on me PC with no hassel so it wouldnt bother me but would it mean that i dont love her or Im not arsed cause Im not sure if i feel love for anyone anymore and thats sad :-/

 

[marchwiel]

cack.

Aboslutely, this is the type of cod-scientifc nonsense that really annoys the hell out of me. I can't help but feel it portrays women in a rather bad light (it doesn't do much for men either by-the-way).

I totally agree with amelies points. Remember the previous poll when a couple said when they were out with mates they still missed their partner and wished they were there? voila. If someone is gonna cheat they are not right for you anyway. Full-stop. If you don't wanna see the film then let your partner go with someone else. Jesus.

Spot again, Nath, in my view. If my missus couldn't get anyone to go to the film with then I would go, but if she has someone to go with then let them go out and enjoy it . I remember forcing her to watch Attack of the Clones, I'm pretty sure with hindsight she would have been more than happy for me to go with someone else .

 

[nathan]

lol

I can see where the boyfriend is comin from...theres no way I'd like Trace to go out on her own to the piccies (or any where) with a lad shes just met at work. In fact I woudn't have it at all!

Its not that I don't trust her, but I know what lads think like, cos I'm sure if I was single an a girl from work asked me to go pictures an a drink/meal with just her, then I'd think she fancied me.

Plus I'd be a bit worried as to why my missus wants to go out with someone else, even if I don't wanna watch a certain film, we could do something else together instead.

I know jelousy is not good, but lets have it right, we all feel it sometimes, an if yer don't at least get a twinge sometimes, then yer can't really feel that much for yer partner.

case dismissed

 

[nathan]

nice one

Aboslutely, this is the type of cod-scientifc nonsense that really annoys the hell out of me. I can't help but feel it portrays women in a rather bad light (it doesn't do much for men either by-the-way).

Spot again, Nath, in my view. If my missus couldn't get anyone to go to the film with then I would go, but if she has someone to go with then let them go out and enjoy it . I remember forcing her to watch Attack of the Clones, I'm pretty sure with hindsight she would have been more than happy for me to go with someone else .

spot on fella

 

[RetroAndy]

of course both men and women can be friends...


...once you've got the shagging out of the way.

Pmsl Tooooooooooooooooooooo Right

 

[Biskit]

lol - what a thread, personally my t'other half should never have to go and watch a film with another man, we do things together coz thats what partners/best friends do. I'd watch the film even if I thought it was shite, just to please my t'other half Nic!!
Like nowthen said, and i agree.. 'Its not that I don't trust her with other men, but I know what lads think like!'
I too would also be worried if Nic wanted to go off somewhere with some other lad!! There's nothing me n Nic cant do together!!

Some peeps might think, well you shouldnt have to do something you dont want to, like watch a shitty film. Well I think that everytime I watch 'Tweenies' with my son, but you watch it, coz he's mi best m8 n I love him!!

One last thing, if anyone can say they dont get jealous, then there's something wrong with you !!

lol - hope i havent gone a bit off topic lol

 

[Miss Cola]

lol - what a thread, personally my t'other half should never have to go and watch a film with another man, we do things together coz thats what partners/best friends do. I'd watch the film even if I thought it was shite, just to please my t'other half Nic!!
Like nowthen said, and i agree.. 'Its not that I don't trust her with other men, but I know what lads think like!'
I too would also be worried if Nic wanted to go off somewhere with some other lad!! There's nothing me n Nic cant do together!!

Some peeps might think, well you shouldnt have to do something you dont want to, like watch a shitty film. Well I think that everytime I watch 'Tweenies' with my son, but you watch it, coz he's mi best m8 n I love him!!

One last thing, if anyone can say they dont get jealous, then there's something wrong with you !!

lol - hope i havent gone a bit off topic lol

Exactly!!

 

[blue jammer]

I'd say the guy is very insecure.

If you don't trust your partner to go out with someone for drinks/bowling, or to watch movie, or even go to a party, then it's YOU that has the problem, and if it happens a lot, and you start saying "NO, you aren't going out with so-and-so" then you start to head into 'controlling' territory, which I'm sure we've all experienced

Balance is where it's at, else you'll just end up smothering them, and they'll get sick of it, we all need time, time for ourselves, time for our mates...

Heh, listen to me, I'm an old cynic, and believe in a wank and kebab, much less hassle than all this relationship bollocks!

 

[sirius]

Hmmn. This has been very interesting.

Not being a renouned expert in the relationship department, I wasnt going to add anything, but from experience I think it is possible to be friends and ONLY friends with a member of the opposite sex.
Whenever me and a few mates, thier birds and friends go out to the piccy's or whatever nobodys ever secretly saying "Id shag her if she wasnt with....." and gossiping etc and Im sure if any of us went as a pair without their respective partner we would respect that mutual trust and we could honestly go as just friends. Well, I would. Honestly, I would. Every time.

Its when one or (even worse) both feel like having a shag behind thier partners back things get out of hand innit I suppose, and as already pointed out, if that is already the case then they are with the wrong people or have big issues to sort out.

I think it can often be that at least one party may have secret sexual desires regarding the other person, but I would have thought acting upon that is a different kettle of fish isnt it? Its human nature for people to look each other up and down and whey up if you fancy them or not (ie whether you would fook thier brains out or not, lol), and as you cant tell what is going on in somebodys head I feel that a degree of trust needs to be in place for them not to act on that especially after a boozy night out or in an already rocky patch.

What I would also be concerned about is not knowing anything about this guy - even she doesnt really know. What happens if he is a date rapist, or whetever? That sort of trust in what at the end of the day is a stranger, being alone with your partner is pretty difficult also I think - nevermind whether she has a jealous/posessive boyfriend or not.

Like I say, Im just nattering on about something Im no real expert in, so I may be talking complete utter bollax and I admit it. I suppose unless you have been hurt very badly by such an occasion its hard to analyse and discuss such a topic. I dont know what Id feel it was happening to me, but Id like to feel I could trust two people of opposite sex to be friends only and aslong is it doesnt infringe on your time together and get to the point where they are doing more stuff together (even as friends) than you do.

I dont agree with being in any situation where a 'controlling' or domineering partner is severely dictating your life becuase of thier own mistrust issues as thats a sort of mental imprisonment to me. Sure, do things to please your partner and think whether it will upset them or not, but when it gets to "Your not setting foot out this door...blah di blah" its bad news.

Good Topic

See ya

Sirius.

 

[sirius]

Heh, listen to me, I'm an old cynic, and believe in a wank and kebab, much less hassle than all this relationship bollocks!

You're preaching to the converted here m8!

 

[blue jammer]

You're preaching to the converted here m8!

Heh, just remember to wash your hands after the kebab, chilli sauce man, it stings..... nggggggggggggggggggg

Sure, do things to please your partner and think whether it will upset them or not, but when it gets to "Your not setting foot out this door...blah di blah" its bad news.

Never a good idea to pleasure them on the front patio, the neighbours don't approve of such behavoir :|

Better not say anymore, I've already lowered the tone of this thread

(what was that, FHM forum address again?) :$

 

[sirius]

And the stinging is a bad thing? :$

(wheres the Sado-masochistic smilie when you need one?

Hey, who cares about what the neighbours see? Aslong as they dont call the cops........

Sirius.

 

[Miss C]

your right why not give them a helping hand and your blessing then ?

FPMSL I would never let eddy go out with a lass he hadly knew, in fact, to be truthful, i probs wouldnt let him out with a lass he did kno unless she was a minger n theyd been mates 4 years or if it was one of my close friends.

like cam says, he wouldnt be bothered if his bird was just a minger he would let her go out wi who she wanted, if u didnt care about the person u would not care where they were going/who with/what they got up to. i'd be quite worried if eddy wasnt bothered that i was going 2 the pics n 4 a meal n drinks wi some random bloke.

i agree with clare, your mate should take some other ppl along so it doesnt seem as dodgy n they'l probly have a better time that way any way. its not like theyre just gonna b chillin alone 2getha havin a drink, which i fink wud b perfectly acceptable, they hardly know each other n theyre off out to do the things couples do.

 

[blue jammer]

Gah. firstly the board logged me out, just in the middle of a great and witty line in reply to sirius' post up there, but I've since lost it as NTL went down too and I had to reboot my network, hmmmph. I've forgotten it too :$

like cam says, he wouldnt be bothered if his bird was just a minger he would let her go out wi who she wanted, if u didnt care about the person u would not care where they were going/who with/what they got up to. i'd be quite worried if eddy wasnt bothered that i was going 2 the pics n 4 a meal n drinks wi some random bloke.

I'm not singling you out here, but, I just wanted to make a point about this.

Do most of you just think of a physical attraction?

As the line "he wouldnt be bothered if his bird was just a minger he would let her go out wi who she wanted" got me thinking just that, it's a very shallow thing, but I understand a lot of people are shallow like that.

Don't know about you lot, but looks alone isn't enough for me, I'm attracted to the inner person, the personality & aura.

Edit: clarity.

 

[northern minx]

i cant bloody believe it!

but, one of my bestest male mates rang me earlier to see if i wana go the cinema tomorrow ... how wierd is that after todays thread!

 

[sirius]

Like I said in my earlier thread, I like to think I can control myself, and always have done, but I suppose if your clambering all over each other in a fit of lust, I can imagine its hard to just break way!.

Bluejammer, Im with you regarding more than physical attraction. What I would say though is its probably fair to say those blokes (or women) who look for one night stands coulnt give a flying toss about more than physical attraction....if the offer is there on a plate..etc..but if they were after totally stealing or in normal circumstances innocently looking for a partner themselves longterm then I agree more than physical attraction has to play a part. Some airhead bimbo even if she was a model type stunner would just totally peck my head in a very short space of time.

See ya

Sirius.

 

[Miss C]

Of course, i understand what you are saying, and you have missed my point completley. What i am trying to say is, that whether the person in question is good looking or not, if their partner cares about them, loves them, and doesnt want them to be unfaithful because they want to be with them, then most of the time they are likely to be wary if the person is going out somewhere alone with another person of the opposite sex, doing things that couples do. But if they did not care about, love, and want that person to be faithful, they would not care where they went/who with/if they were unfaithful or not, and so they would simply let them go without asking questions. The 'minger' thing is just a way of illustrating my point in a simpler way.
Do you catch my drift now?

It makes me laff how seriously some ppl take their posts, if i ever offend any1, its coz i dont really care wot i am saying, i come on here more 4 a laff than i do to discuss life or death issues, as im sure most of you do too.

blue jammer, i was not singling you out then

 

[Eddy Osborne]

i completly agree with nowthen on this,that 'i know what men are like', i know whats happened to some of my friends whether male or female and seen the consequences, if your not in love with your partner 100% or vice versa s**t will happen end of (whether it mental thought or action), and the first time u meet someone u have to look at there face men/women monkey/giraffe everyone does it and judge, its natural. N without a doubt id go off on one especially for meals n drinks n s**t WTF! U should want to go with them and do stuff together as what biskit said. i mean come on 1 male and 1 female havin a date and as awful as this sounds but if he is a minger then u wouldnt get as bothered at all and evryone who loves there partner more than anything would agree.

If u were crazy over your girlfriend and thought she was the most beutiful thing in the world like i do would u rather she went out for a meal with a guy who was cool and beutiful or geeky and mingin

end of

p.s i mean look what happened to miss cola on that thread, sum of them take the piss

 

[lastnightadj]

they were chatting about a film they both wanted to see, and her boyfriend didnt

Just out of interest what was the film?

 

[JohnnyPink]

Can i just ask what the word platonic means???? :$