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The Chillout Room
Can males and females ever be platonic friends?
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<blockquote data-quote="sirius" data-source="post: 222364" data-attributes="member: 258"><p>Hmmn. This has been very interesting.</p><p></p><p>Not being a renouned expert in the relationship department, I wasnt going to add anything, but from experience I think it is possible to be friends and ONLY friends with a member of the opposite sex.</p><p>Whenever me and a few mates, thier birds and friends go out to the piccy's or whatever nobodys ever secretly saying "Id shag her if she wasnt with....." and gossiping etc and Im sure if any of us went as a pair without their respective partner we would respect that mutual trust and we could honestly go as just friends. Well, I would. Honestly, I would. Every time.</p><p></p><p>Its when one or (even worse) both feel like having a shag behind thier partners back things get out of hand innit I suppose, and as already pointed out, if that is already the case then they are with the wrong people or have big issues to sort out.</p><p></p><p>I think it can often be that at least one party may have secret sexual desires regarding the other person, but I would have thought acting upon that is a different kettle of fish isnt it? Its human nature for people to look each other up and down and whey up if you fancy them or not (ie whether you would fook thier brains out or not, lol), and as you cant tell what is going on in somebodys head I feel that a degree of trust needs to be in place for them not to act on that especially after a boozy night out or in an already rocky patch.</p><p></p><p>What I would also be concerned about is not knowing anything about this guy - even she doesnt really know. What happens if he is a date rapist, or whetever? That sort of trust in what at the end of the day is a stranger, being alone with your partner is pretty difficult also I think - nevermind whether she has a jealous/posessive boyfriend or not.</p><p></p><p>Like I say, Im just nattering on about something Im no real expert in, so I may be talking complete utter bollax and I admit it. I suppose unless you have been hurt very badly by such an occasion its hard to analyse and discuss such a topic. I dont know what Id feel it was happening to me, but Id like to feel I could trust two people of opposite sex to be friends only and aslong is it doesnt infringe on your time together and get to the point where they are doing more stuff together (even as friends) than you do.</p><p></p><p>I dont agree with being in any situation where a 'controlling' or domineering partner is severely dictating your life becuase of thier own mistrust issues as thats a sort of mental imprisonment to me. Sure, do things to please your partner and think whether it will upset them or not, but when it gets to "Your not setting foot out this door...blah di blah" its bad news.</p><p></p><p>Good Topic <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> </p><p></p><p>See ya</p><p></p><p>Sirius.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="sirius, post: 222364, member: 258"] Hmmn. This has been very interesting. Not being a renouned expert in the relationship department, I wasnt going to add anything, but from experience I think it is possible to be friends and ONLY friends with a member of the opposite sex. Whenever me and a few mates, thier birds and friends go out to the piccy's or whatever nobodys ever secretly saying "Id shag her if she wasnt with....." and gossiping etc and Im sure if any of us went as a pair without their respective partner we would respect that mutual trust and we could honestly go as just friends. Well, I would. Honestly, I would. Every time. Its when one or (even worse) both feel like having a shag behind thier partners back things get out of hand innit I suppose, and as already pointed out, if that is already the case then they are with the wrong people or have big issues to sort out. I think it can often be that at least one party may have secret sexual desires regarding the other person, but I would have thought acting upon that is a different kettle of fish isnt it? Its human nature for people to look each other up and down and whey up if you fancy them or not (ie whether you would fook thier brains out or not, lol), and as you cant tell what is going on in somebodys head I feel that a degree of trust needs to be in place for them not to act on that especially after a boozy night out or in an already rocky patch. What I would also be concerned about is not knowing anything about this guy - even she doesnt really know. What happens if he is a date rapist, or whetever? That sort of trust in what at the end of the day is a stranger, being alone with your partner is pretty difficult also I think - nevermind whether she has a jealous/posessive boyfriend or not. Like I say, Im just nattering on about something Im no real expert in, so I may be talking complete utter bollax and I admit it. I suppose unless you have been hurt very badly by such an occasion its hard to analyse and discuss such a topic. I dont know what Id feel it was happening to me, but Id like to feel I could trust two people of opposite sex to be friends only and aslong is it doesnt infringe on your time together and get to the point where they are doing more stuff together (even as friends) than you do. I dont agree with being in any situation where a 'controlling' or domineering partner is severely dictating your life becuase of thier own mistrust issues as thats a sort of mental imprisonment to me. Sure, do things to please your partner and think whether it will upset them or not, but when it gets to "Your not setting foot out this door...blah di blah" its bad news. Good Topic :) See ya Sirius. [/QUOTE]
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