- Jul 18, 2001
- 17,768
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These mailshots are cool - will post every time I get one 
LMFAO @ the thought of Scouse Craig from Big Bro 1 tossing off singing 'it's only a game show'
"If you eat right and you exercise and you get breast
implants, you can look like us." - Gena Lee Nolin
------------------------------------------------------
POPBITCH! _ _ _ _
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 29.05.02 *issue 118*
subscribe or unsubscribe: http://www.popbitch.com
our email: hello@popbitch.com
* Horrific past of Big Brother house
* Warren's robust scrotum
* Charts: Will Young is number one
------------------------------------------------------
>> It's hip to CHiP! <<
Gay Ponch roleplay sweeps LA
There's an interesting new fad in the LA gay
scene. Partners get dressed up as California
Highway Patrol Officers, and cruise around
on Harleys. It's most commonly practiced by
Latino and Caucasian gay couples.
The behaviour is known as "CHiPing".
Tell us about unusual sex trends: hello@popbitch.com
-------------------------------------------------------
Virgin are finally set to drop Victoria Beckham, but are
patriotically waiting until after the World Cup... so as
not to upset David.
-------------------------------------------------------
>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week
Which sports presenter shagged his friend's
17-year-old daughter on a sofa, while her dad
was in the next room?
Which pop pixie's on/off boyfriend has also
enjoyed man-love with both George Michael and
famous trannie Darren Pleased Wimmin?
-------------------------------------------------------
Kevin Backstreet gets his eyebrows waxed at the
Sager-French salon in LA.
-------------------------------------------------------
>> Warren's robust scrotum <<
Duran penis now available to own
Last year we revealed that Duran Duran guitarist
Warren Cuccurrulo was having his penis moulded
in latex to produce a realistic "Warren knob" dildo.
Well, Warren fans, the "Rock Rod" is now finally
available. According to the advert, it's a "fully
detailed rock & roll thrusting cock with robust
scrotum". See the ad:
http://www.popbitch.com/warren2.jpg
-------------------------------------------------------
Gruesome twosome: Earl Spencer and Sophie Wessex.
-------------------------------------------------------
>> Big Brother: The Horror <<
House built on site of The Shining
The Big Brother house is this year at Elstree
Film Studios, and is built on the location
where horror movie The Shining was filmed.
Mr X writes:
"There is an area of land right next to the Big
Brother house which is enclosed and was
the set for the house in the hills where Jack
Nicholson went all 'Here's Johnny' on us. They used
some sort of salt lime to create the illusion of
snow and it has contaminated the ground ever since."
So when obvious lunatic Spencer goes mental and
kills the other inmates with an axe, you'll know
where he's coming from...
-------------------------------------------------------
Sean Connery was a milkman's helper when he was a kid.
One of his customers was Betty Boo's grandmother.
-------------------------------------------------------
>> Das Jackass <<
Germany embraces pain-TV
Jackass has been re-made in Germany
(though under a different name, obviously)
One of its stunts involves a man climbing
to the top of a tree - and then some other
men cut the tree down. Ouch.
-------------------------------------------------------
Jack and Meg from White Stripes - husband and wife,
not brother and sister. See their wedding license
http://www.gloriousnoise.com/?pg=whitestripes1.php
-------------------------------------------------------
>> Goodbye pop, hello rock <<
Max Martin and Nick Backstreet go metal
The boom in pop music that has occured over the
last four years was largely a result of one
man: Max Martin.
Once the vocalist in Swedish heavy metal band Its
Alive, Max went on to write Britney's Baby One More
Time, along with her other hits and most of
Backstreet Boys and N Sync's big records.
But now Max is returning to rock. And the good
news is, he's taking Nick Backstreet with him.
Nick has always had a great rock voice, and has been
laying the groundwork for a rock career by getting
arrested in nightclubs and featuring heavily on
GroupieCentral.com for his snow'n'skank habits.
Now Nick is in Stockholm recording a rock solo album
with the great Max. Oh joy.
Want to see what Max looks like?
http://www.cheiron.se/max.html
-------------------------------------------------------
Gawd bless you, Ma'am: Es with a Union Jack logo
called Jubilees are on sale in Scotland.
-------------------------------------------------------
>> Encounters with Ozzy <<
Readers recall meetings with Mr Osbourne
Muggins writes:
"Ozzy walked in to a chip shop in Amersham (where
his UK residence is), in full goth rock clothes.
The assistant greeted him with 'Bat and chips
is it, Sir?"
"Ozzy looked at him deadpan, turned round and
walked out".
Met Ozzy? Email hello@popbitch.com
-------------------------------------------------------
Nikki French, Britain's Eurovision entry in 2000, has
the Match of the Day theme as her mobile ringtone.
-------------------------------------------------------
>> Appletons not the new Osbournes<<
Dumb and Dumber prepare to film their lives
The Appletons have defected to Polydor, who are
hoping that the switch will magically make the
lame ducks into pop swans - Sugababes style.
To celebrate, Natalie and Nicole are making a
documentary about themselves - to coincide with
their double autobiographies. They're currently
filming in Disneyland Paris.
FYI: Contrary to tabloid speculation, the Appletons
weren't dropped by Warners. They negotiated their way
out (paying back their advance) as their working
relationship with the label had become so appalling
(egged on by the Liams, thinking they should be treated
like stars - just like them). Plus they hated that Shaznay
and Mel Blatt are still associated with the label.
-------------------------------------------------------
More King Lou E: check out an early Louis Theroux rap:
http://www.ntk.net/2000/10/27/therap.jpg
-------------------------------------------------------
>> Things To Make You Go Hmm <<
Wanky Craig, SAGAPO, Fuller-Kylie
David Hasslehoff is not the only Baywatch star with
an unlikely pop career in Europe. David Charvet has
just released his second album Jusqu'au bout (Leap of
Faith), and its set for an Autumn release in the UK.
Bryan Adams has been helping him write songs.
http://www.davidcharvet.net
Big Brother rumours no.375: Craig often used to wank
in front of the mirrors singing "It's only a game
show" - knowing they would never show it.
Greece's Eurovision entry rules! The man behind it,
Michalis Rackintzis, was the first musician in
Greece to use computers to write music. He studied
in Britain, and joined a UK reggae group in the 80s -
Scraptown, which had a minor European hit with Viva
Sahara. Michalis' greatest experience? Performing
on stage with Ian Gillan...
Download S.A.G.A.P.O:
http://users.eone.gr/grfinal/first.ra
It's rumoured that Simon Fuller is looking to lure
Kylie away from her long-term management. Cathy
Dennis's songwriting (Can't Get You Out of My Head)
is being used as the bait.
>> Chart predictions <<
New entries for Sunday 2 June
++ Number one
WILL YOUNG Light My Fire
(TV interview at weekend)
Interviewer: "So the girl in your video
is called Fanny?"
Will: "Yes"
I: "So we are seriously expected to believe
that you are interested in Fanny?"
Will: "No"
++ Top Ten
ANT AND DEC On The Ball
Radio 1's reluctance to playlist this track may
derail a long-running attempt by the station to
get Ant & Dec to host a weekend show.
++ Top Twenty
SEX PISTOLS God Save The Queen
Disappointing remix likely to miss out on top ten.
DJ OTZI Hey Baby
Only in hell could someone have had the idea to
re-release a world cup version of Hey Baby.
OZZY OSBOURNE Dreamer
An adult version of the Osbournes is in the
pipeline: The Ozporns.
BUSTA RHYMES Pass the Courvoisier
Mr T from the A Team appears in the video.
++ Top Forty
ENGLAND BOYS Go England
Who would have thought Paul Weller would stoop
so low as to allow Jam classic Going
Underground to be re-written as this dross?
ORBITAL Rest/Play
Double release to promote next week's release
of their greatest hits collection: Work
BELL & SPURLING Goldenballs
A sing-a-long classic for Special Needs children
FERRY CORSTEN Punk
Dutch DJ/producer ferry got married yesterday. Bless.
REEL You Take Me Away
Pointless trad-Irish boy-band: the gimmick is
they play their own old-fashioned instruments.
DARIO G Carnival
Tedious World Cup re-release.
ASHER D Back In The Day
Set to just scrape into top 40. So
probably not the new Tupac, then.
BABE TEAM Over There
Bunch of large-breasted glamour models try
(and fail) to cash in on World Cup.
>> End Bit <<
Help Popbitch:
* Know anything weird or interesting about pop or
TV in Spain?
* What are the most exciting guitar bands in Britain?
* What are Strawberry Switchblade up to these days?
Email us about these and everything: hello@popbitch.com
[Please note: only the hello@popbitch email address works.
Replying to this newsletter's return address will not work]
Thanks: hotburrito, Jaymz, F-13, bettyswollocks, shoeslut,
ZoJo, ntk, QJ, jedibitch, paulywalnuts, silicone_carny,
pauline, rob, mainline, BM, punkgirl, maxbrooklynshaw, eib,
Correction: Ministry Of Sound inform us that they're not
selling their club in Elephant and Castle to bar/club
chain Luminar. Luminar manage the Ministry's club in Bangkok.
Subscribe or unsubscribe: http://www.popbitch.com
Popbitch is hosted in a nuclear bunker:
http://www.thebunker.net
Old Jokes Home:
Man : Doctor, Doctor, I have two penises,
and the one on the left hurts when I wank.
Doctor : Pull the other one.
LMFAO @ the thought of Scouse Craig from Big Bro 1 tossing off singing 'it's only a game show'
"If you eat right and you exercise and you get breast
implants, you can look like us." - Gena Lee Nolin
------------------------------------------------------
POPBITCH! _ _ _ _
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 29.05.02 *issue 118*
subscribe or unsubscribe: http://www.popbitch.com
our email: hello@popbitch.com
* Horrific past of Big Brother house
* Warren's robust scrotum
* Charts: Will Young is number one
------------------------------------------------------
>> It's hip to CHiP! <<
Gay Ponch roleplay sweeps LA
There's an interesting new fad in the LA gay
scene. Partners get dressed up as California
Highway Patrol Officers, and cruise around
on Harleys. It's most commonly practiced by
Latino and Caucasian gay couples.
The behaviour is known as "CHiPing".
Tell us about unusual sex trends: hello@popbitch.com
-------------------------------------------------------
Virgin are finally set to drop Victoria Beckham, but are
patriotically waiting until after the World Cup... so as
not to upset David.
-------------------------------------------------------
>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week
Which sports presenter shagged his friend's
17-year-old daughter on a sofa, while her dad
was in the next room?
Which pop pixie's on/off boyfriend has also
enjoyed man-love with both George Michael and
famous trannie Darren Pleased Wimmin?
-------------------------------------------------------
Kevin Backstreet gets his eyebrows waxed at the
Sager-French salon in LA.
-------------------------------------------------------
>> Warren's robust scrotum <<
Duran penis now available to own
Last year we revealed that Duran Duran guitarist
Warren Cuccurrulo was having his penis moulded
in latex to produce a realistic "Warren knob" dildo.
Well, Warren fans, the "Rock Rod" is now finally
available. According to the advert, it's a "fully
detailed rock & roll thrusting cock with robust
scrotum". See the ad:
http://www.popbitch.com/warren2.jpg
-------------------------------------------------------
Gruesome twosome: Earl Spencer and Sophie Wessex.
-------------------------------------------------------
>> Big Brother: The Horror <<
House built on site of The Shining
The Big Brother house is this year at Elstree
Film Studios, and is built on the location
where horror movie The Shining was filmed.
Mr X writes:
"There is an area of land right next to the Big
Brother house which is enclosed and was
the set for the house in the hills where Jack
Nicholson went all 'Here's Johnny' on us. They used
some sort of salt lime to create the illusion of
snow and it has contaminated the ground ever since."
So when obvious lunatic Spencer goes mental and
kills the other inmates with an axe, you'll know
where he's coming from...
-------------------------------------------------------
Sean Connery was a milkman's helper when he was a kid.
One of his customers was Betty Boo's grandmother.
-------------------------------------------------------
>> Das Jackass <<
Germany embraces pain-TV
Jackass has been re-made in Germany
(though under a different name, obviously)
One of its stunts involves a man climbing
to the top of a tree - and then some other
men cut the tree down. Ouch.
-------------------------------------------------------
Jack and Meg from White Stripes - husband and wife,
not brother and sister. See their wedding license
http://www.gloriousnoise.com/?pg=whitestripes1.php
-------------------------------------------------------
>> Goodbye pop, hello rock <<
Max Martin and Nick Backstreet go metal
The boom in pop music that has occured over the
last four years was largely a result of one
man: Max Martin.
Once the vocalist in Swedish heavy metal band Its
Alive, Max went on to write Britney's Baby One More
Time, along with her other hits and most of
Backstreet Boys and N Sync's big records.
But now Max is returning to rock. And the good
news is, he's taking Nick Backstreet with him.
Nick has always had a great rock voice, and has been
laying the groundwork for a rock career by getting
arrested in nightclubs and featuring heavily on
GroupieCentral.com for his snow'n'skank habits.
Now Nick is in Stockholm recording a rock solo album
with the great Max. Oh joy.
Want to see what Max looks like?
http://www.cheiron.se/max.html
-------------------------------------------------------
Gawd bless you, Ma'am: Es with a Union Jack logo
called Jubilees are on sale in Scotland.
-------------------------------------------------------
>> Encounters with Ozzy <<
Readers recall meetings with Mr Osbourne
Muggins writes:
"Ozzy walked in to a chip shop in Amersham (where
his UK residence is), in full goth rock clothes.
The assistant greeted him with 'Bat and chips
is it, Sir?"
"Ozzy looked at him deadpan, turned round and
walked out".
Met Ozzy? Email hello@popbitch.com
-------------------------------------------------------
Nikki French, Britain's Eurovision entry in 2000, has
the Match of the Day theme as her mobile ringtone.
-------------------------------------------------------
>> Appletons not the new Osbournes<<
Dumb and Dumber prepare to film their lives
The Appletons have defected to Polydor, who are
hoping that the switch will magically make the
lame ducks into pop swans - Sugababes style.
To celebrate, Natalie and Nicole are making a
documentary about themselves - to coincide with
their double autobiographies. They're currently
filming in Disneyland Paris.
FYI: Contrary to tabloid speculation, the Appletons
weren't dropped by Warners. They negotiated their way
out (paying back their advance) as their working
relationship with the label had become so appalling
(egged on by the Liams, thinking they should be treated
like stars - just like them). Plus they hated that Shaznay
and Mel Blatt are still associated with the label.
-------------------------------------------------------
More King Lou E: check out an early Louis Theroux rap:
http://www.ntk.net/2000/10/27/therap.jpg
-------------------------------------------------------
>> Things To Make You Go Hmm <<
Wanky Craig, SAGAPO, Fuller-Kylie
David Hasslehoff is not the only Baywatch star with
an unlikely pop career in Europe. David Charvet has
just released his second album Jusqu'au bout (Leap of
Faith), and its set for an Autumn release in the UK.
Bryan Adams has been helping him write songs.
http://www.davidcharvet.net
Big Brother rumours no.375: Craig often used to wank
in front of the mirrors singing "It's only a game
show" - knowing they would never show it.
Greece's Eurovision entry rules! The man behind it,
Michalis Rackintzis, was the first musician in
Greece to use computers to write music. He studied
in Britain, and joined a UK reggae group in the 80s -
Scraptown, which had a minor European hit with Viva
Sahara. Michalis' greatest experience? Performing
on stage with Ian Gillan...
Download S.A.G.A.P.O:
http://users.eone.gr/grfinal/first.ra
It's rumoured that Simon Fuller is looking to lure
Kylie away from her long-term management. Cathy
Dennis's songwriting (Can't Get You Out of My Head)
is being used as the bait.
>> Chart predictions <<
New entries for Sunday 2 June
++ Number one
WILL YOUNG Light My Fire
(TV interview at weekend)
Interviewer: "So the girl in your video
is called Fanny?"
Will: "Yes"
I: "So we are seriously expected to believe
that you are interested in Fanny?"
Will: "No"
++ Top Ten
ANT AND DEC On The Ball
Radio 1's reluctance to playlist this track may
derail a long-running attempt by the station to
get Ant & Dec to host a weekend show.
++ Top Twenty
SEX PISTOLS God Save The Queen
Disappointing remix likely to miss out on top ten.
DJ OTZI Hey Baby
Only in hell could someone have had the idea to
re-release a world cup version of Hey Baby.
OZZY OSBOURNE Dreamer
An adult version of the Osbournes is in the
pipeline: The Ozporns.
BUSTA RHYMES Pass the Courvoisier
Mr T from the A Team appears in the video.
++ Top Forty
ENGLAND BOYS Go England
Who would have thought Paul Weller would stoop
so low as to allow Jam classic Going
Underground to be re-written as this dross?
ORBITAL Rest/Play
Double release to promote next week's release
of their greatest hits collection: Work
BELL & SPURLING Goldenballs
A sing-a-long classic for Special Needs children
FERRY CORSTEN Punk
Dutch DJ/producer ferry got married yesterday. Bless.
REEL You Take Me Away
Pointless trad-Irish boy-band: the gimmick is
they play their own old-fashioned instruments.
DARIO G Carnival
Tedious World Cup re-release.
ASHER D Back In The Day
Set to just scrape into top 40. So
probably not the new Tupac, then.
BABE TEAM Over There
Bunch of large-breasted glamour models try
(and fail) to cash in on World Cup.
>> End Bit <<
Help Popbitch:
* Know anything weird or interesting about pop or
TV in Spain?
* What are the most exciting guitar bands in Britain?
* What are Strawberry Switchblade up to these days?
Email us about these and everything: hello@popbitch.com
[Please note: only the hello@popbitch email address works.
Replying to this newsletter's return address will not work]
Thanks: hotburrito, Jaymz, F-13, bettyswollocks, shoeslut,
ZoJo, ntk, QJ, jedibitch, paulywalnuts, silicone_carny,
pauline, rob, mainline, BM, punkgirl, maxbrooklynshaw, eib,
Correction: Ministry Of Sound inform us that they're not
selling their club in Elephant and Castle to bar/club
chain Luminar. Luminar manage the Ministry's club in Bangkok.
Subscribe or unsubscribe: http://www.popbitch.com
Popbitch is hosted in a nuclear bunker:
http://www.thebunker.net
Old Jokes Home:
Man : Doctor, Doctor, I have two penises,
and the one on the left hurts when I wank.
Doctor : Pull the other one.
