Right so i get up early and go to the gym, i approach a cross trainer and so does this ultra toned witch in matching 'workout gear'. So she gives me the look, that cross trainer battle look that is equiv to revving your engine at the lights and i give it her back to say game on. So we both hop on and start a frantic thing were i quickly get really kerrrnackerd- but you know the name of the cross trainer game, fastest and longest wins. And man this bitch was good, she was in really good physique and thank God i am more stubbern then she is fit cos i managed to stay on longer then she did. So she gets off and does some stretches while giving me daggers, then i can't stand it anymore and get off and my legs are like jelly! I frigging fell over my own feet and had to pretend that it was part of my cool down. I wanted to wipe the smirk of her smug grid but i was too tired.
So then i get changed into unflattering swim wear, and head off for the steam room. In there i am sitting, all alone so i can bring my knees up to my chest without worrying about sly escaped bikini wax pubes sticking out. Then in walks none other than bloody Ian Walker, that goaly who married that 'page three stunna' Suzi (deffo with an 'i' lol, she is that kinda laydee). He is giving me that look that says 'check me out, check me out' and i am looking at him as i know i know him from somewhere. As usual shamefull images flashed through my mind, but no -he is not one of my ex's lol coming back to haunt me. So i eventually place him- and this is so sad i got all self concious (sp? lol- it looks wierd like i have done it). I was sooo hot, all my hair had stuck to my head and i was sweating so vey badly, but i just couldn't get up. I swear when i eventually did i thought i was going to faint form the heat- it felt like my homeostatic balance had gone to pot and my insides were cooking. All i was thinking as i was trying to get to the door was 'don't collapse, not here not now with Ian Walker. And you know what, as i walked out i could feel that he was having a reet good sken at my bum- wouldn't you think he was a tit man.
As it goes, he is silly looking in real life, his hair is what the yanks call 'frosted'- it looked like it might snap if i touched it, and he had so many moles on his face it was like a dot to dot game.
Todays two lessons are:
1, Don't battle other women in the gym- its not worth it, from now own i am only in compertition with myself.
2, ALL, i repeat, All men are shits who check other women out- they can't help it, even when they have a gorg wife. It appears not to even matter what the women look like, cos not putting myself down i looked like shite at that mo, and he still did it.
So then i get changed into unflattering swim wear, and head off for the steam room. In there i am sitting, all alone so i can bring my knees up to my chest without worrying about sly escaped bikini wax pubes sticking out. Then in walks none other than bloody Ian Walker, that goaly who married that 'page three stunna' Suzi (deffo with an 'i' lol, she is that kinda laydee). He is giving me that look that says 'check me out, check me out' and i am looking at him as i know i know him from somewhere. As usual shamefull images flashed through my mind, but no -he is not one of my ex's lol coming back to haunt me. So i eventually place him- and this is so sad i got all self concious (sp? lol- it looks wierd like i have done it). I was sooo hot, all my hair had stuck to my head and i was sweating so vey badly, but i just couldn't get up. I swear when i eventually did i thought i was going to faint form the heat- it felt like my homeostatic balance had gone to pot and my insides were cooking. All i was thinking as i was trying to get to the door was 'don't collapse, not here not now with Ian Walker. And you know what, as i walked out i could feel that he was having a reet good sken at my bum- wouldn't you think he was a tit man.
As it goes, he is silly looking in real life, his hair is what the yanks call 'frosted'- it looked like it might snap if i touched it, and he had so many moles on his face it was like a dot to dot game.
Todays two lessons are:
1, Don't battle other women in the gym- its not worth it, from now own i am only in compertition with myself.
2, ALL, i repeat, All men are shits who check other women out- they can't help it, even when they have a gorg wife. It appears not to even matter what the women look like, cos not putting myself down i looked like shite at that mo, and he still did it.
