Critique My Tune

[ElectricVibez]

Hi All!

I'm half way through an old skool house tune (piano track) that I wouldn't mind a critique on.

Critique me on everything and anything from the structure / arrangement (is there too much going on in the chorus), to the tune itself, to the production, to the sound selection. Anything.

https://soundcloud.com/creativemind75/dreaming-of-innocence/s-3TrCZ

I know the drums aren't up to much (production-wise). They're ok but still a long way to go. I used 909 samples. I think one of melody lines might need taking out of the chorus as well, sounds a bit cluttered doesn't it? take the non-string melody out perhaps, the lower octave lead melody?

Also, the white noise build up before the chorus is ok but not technically an old skool effect that is it? more a modern thing in different genres of house such as deep house and think those are used in trance aren't they?

This is only half the tune btw.

Thanks!

 

[JACKG]

Firstly well good start and it’s better than I can do.

Only listened once on iPhone but here’s my initial thoughts

Too much goin on at the start.. would be better to build it more, eg the percussion or piano rather than everything including the vocal all at once. Let the track grow

I liked the strings n piano.

The shelter vocal sounded out of key, a bit high pitched

The you dream of heaven from collapse vocal is fine but I would use more sparingly and not overlap it over over vocals, wasn’t too keen on that loop either. I’d possibly put a few more snippets from the collapse pella

The other vocal sample worked very well

Would be interested to see how it turns out.. is going somewhere but I’m not quite sure where - defo has potential to be a nice tune though

Iv tried to be honest and just cos I said it don’t mean it’s right..

Well done n hopefully u will get some more feedback.. prob be have to be patient as if live DJ on most will respect that n wait to a time the auto dj is on to listen

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