How can you not like darts when you get commentaries like this:
"That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus."
"When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Bristow's only 27."
"It's the nearest thing to public execution this side of Saudi Arabia."
"If we'd had Phil Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they'd have gone home."
"He's as cool as a prized marrow!"
"You couldn't get more excitement here if Elvis Presley walked in eating a chip sandwich!"
"He's playing out of his pie crust."
"He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave."
"He's been burning the midnight oil at both ends."
"Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength."
"Trying to read Reyes's mind is like trying to read the mind of Jabba the Hutt"
"These guys look calm but inside they are as nervous as a vampire who knows there's a sale at the wooden stake shop in the morning."
"That was like watching Popeye when he found his spinach!"
"He's as twitchy as a frog in a blender"
"He's going like the Loch Ness Monster with a following wind!"
"Keith Deller is like Long John Silver - he's badly in need of another leg."
"He looks as happy as a scorpion who's just had a pedicure!"
"Eyes like a pterodactyl....with contact lenses"
"Cliff Lazarenko's jumping up and down like a gorilla saying "give me back my banana!"
On Bobby George - "He's like a Sherman tank on roller skates coming down a mountain!"
"He's twitching more than a one legged ferret!"
"He's moving with the purpose of a Panzer Division"
"He may practice 12 hours a day, but he's not shy of the burger van!"
"He's like Jack The Ripper on a Friday night."
"He's got one foot in the frying pan and one on thin ice."
"Rod now looking like Kevin Costner when told the final cost of Waterworld."
"Tarantino re-writing Gunfight at the OK Corral couldn't have done any better than this."
"It's like Dracula getting out of his grave and asking for a few chips with his steak."
"That Lad could through 180 standing one legged in a hammock."
"This game of darts is twisting like a rattlesnake with a hernia!"
"It's just like taking a sausage from a boy in a wheelchair."
"This is the clash that makes King Kong versus Godzilla look like a chimpanzees tea party!"
"That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!"
"He's about as predictable as a Wasp on speed."
"Look at the man go, it's like trying to stop a water buffalo with a pea-shooter!"
"The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in ,with a portion of chips....... you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them"
"Big Cliff Lazarenko's idea of exercise is sitting in a room with the windows open taking the lid off something cool and fizzy."
"Look at him as he takes his stance, like he has been sculptured, whereas Bobby George, with his bad back, looks like the Hunchback of Notre Dame."
"He's playing like Robin Hood in the Nottingham super league."
"They've got Shakespeare on Radio 2 but you can't beat this for drama."
"It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline."
"Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out."
"His eyes are bulging like the belly of a hungry chaffinch."
"That's like giving Dracula the keys to the blood bank."
"As they say at the DHSS, we're getting the full benefit here."
"He is as slick as minestrone soup."
"There hasn't been this much excitement since the Romans fed the Christians to the Lions."
"Phil Taylor's got the consistency of a planet ... and he's in a darts orbit!"
"The atmosphere is a cross between the Munich Beer Festival and the Coliseum when the Christians were on the menu."
"Jockey Wilson, he comes from the valleys and he's chuffing like a choo-choo train!"
"He's planting those arrows with the accuracy of a couple of inter-continental ballistic missiles."
"Bob Anderson ... looking like Lee van Cleef on a bad night!"
"Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis"
"The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!"
"He's like D'Artagnan at the scissor factory."
"This lad has more checkouts than Tescos."
"Bristow reasons . . . Bristow quickens ... Aaahhhhh, Bristow."
"Jockey Wilson . . . What an athlete."
"Look at the man go, its like trying to stop a waterbuffalo with a pea-shooter"
"The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in, with a portion of chips... you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them"
"Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out"
"His eyes are bulging like the belly of a hungry chaffinch"
"Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint."
"The pendulum swinging back and forth like a metronome"
"His face is sagging with tension."
"The fans now, with their eyes pierced on the dart board."
"John Lowe is striding out like Alexander the Great conquering the Persians"
"I get the same effect when I see Steve Davis, I just see two letters... C & S... Cue Sorceror"
"By the time of the final on Sunday he should be fit to burst!"
"Keith Deller's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy!"
"I don't know what he's had for breakfast but Taylor knocked the Snap, Crackle and Pop outta Bristow"
"Even Hypotenuse would have trouble working out these angles"
"Steve Beaton - The adonis of darts, what poise, what elegance - a true roman gladiator with plenty of hair wax."
"If you're round your auntie's tonight, tell her to stop making the cookie's and come thru to the living room and watch these two amazing athletes beat the proverbial house out of each other"
"Eat your heart out Harold Pinter, we've got drama with a capital D in Essex."
"They won't just have to play outta their skin to beat Phil Taylor. They'll have to play outta their essence!"
"There's no one quicker than these two tungsten t*ssers..."
"One hundred and eighty, divided by three, is one dart at a time"
"If you had to throw a knife at your wife in the circus, you'd want to throw it like that"
[All quotes are from Sid Waddell]
Regards,
f.
"A Macintosh is a very expensive Etch-a-Sketch..."
WAFC thats just had me dribbling like a fooked fridge 
