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<blockquote data-quote="Dj M Jaxx" data-source="post: 324725" data-attributes="member: 152"><p>Being a chap of much experience in this field, I think I can add light to this topic lol</p><p></p><p>I am 33 and have a daughter... Yasmin who is 10 years old</p><p></p><p>What can I say about Yasmin apart from she is wonderful, amazing, strong, kind hearted, wise, stunningly beautiful, full of life, very creative, a fantastic dancer, and the best thing that as ever happened in my life.....</p><p></p><p>She was an unplanned child, I was just twenty two, when I planted my seed (for want of a better word lol) and her Mother Angie was just Seventeen.</p><p></p><p>Our relationship lasted 10 years, and was a very happy one for the first 4 years. For some reason, perhaps it was a battle for control in our relationship, things started to go horrible wrong, and we tried to make it work for the next 4 years by uprooting, and starting a life in London.</p><p></p><p>For a year things got better, but then the same old "Control" mind trap raised its ugly head again, which ended up in me losing my wife and daughter, as they moved 200 miles back up North</p><p></p><p>This is a very difficult time for anyone...man or woman to be that far away from there child.....and will put a lot of stress on a child’s mind. It also gave me a lot of thinking time, on how to re-evaluate my life on the question "What is really important in my life". In the past I had been so caught up in staying with my then partner for the sake of making a happy home for Yasmin, that I did not realise we where both making life much harder for her by staying together and arguing all the time. This may be easy for someone who has not been through this situation to understand why....but when you are blinded by this sort of thing, it is very easy to kid yourself you are happy</p><p></p><p>Anyway....I have since moved back up North so I can be closer to Yasmin, and have spent the past year now trying to put right some wrongs, and I have learnt that, to be a Father you must also be that persons friend...anything I do in my life will always be shared with her....if I have my friends around....she will be part of that....My work as a chef....she will spend time in the kitchen cooking with me, My love for music...I teach her how to mix and use the decks and music programs on my computer. Basically what I am saying is....I make Yasmin part of my life.....not an object. </p><p></p><p>I hold my hand up, and say "I am not the best dad in the world by far" but what I do say is the secret to being a <strong>good parent is not giving presents to children to make them happy for a while.....it is being present at every moment in there growing life </strong> that and also building there character and strengths so that they grow to be a confident and happy people.</p><p></p><p>I’m very lucky I have so many good friends, and special people in my life that have also been a big influence on Yasmin, and also helped give her certain moments in her life that she has missed...you all know who you are...thank you</p><p></p><p>So in answer to your question Nathan...Yes being a parent at a young age can work, and being a single parent makes no different what so ever....If you love that child like shabba said.....with a love that is second to non...then you will find a way to both be happy</p><p></p><p>My ex wife and I have now done a lot of growing up, and even though we have a lot of pain between us, we always make sure that on Yasmins Birthday....we spend it together, as a family. This is IMO is the best present we could ever give her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dj M Jaxx, post: 324725, member: 152"] Being a chap of much experience in this field, I think I can add light to this topic lol I am 33 and have a daughter... Yasmin who is 10 years old What can I say about Yasmin apart from she is wonderful, amazing, strong, kind hearted, wise, stunningly beautiful, full of life, very creative, a fantastic dancer, and the best thing that as ever happened in my life..... She was an unplanned child, I was just twenty two, when I planted my seed (for want of a better word lol) and her Mother Angie was just Seventeen. Our relationship lasted 10 years, and was a very happy one for the first 4 years. For some reason, perhaps it was a battle for control in our relationship, things started to go horrible wrong, and we tried to make it work for the next 4 years by uprooting, and starting a life in London. For a year things got better, but then the same old "Control" mind trap raised its ugly head again, which ended up in me losing my wife and daughter, as they moved 200 miles back up North This is a very difficult time for anyone...man or woman to be that far away from there child.....and will put a lot of stress on a child’s mind. It also gave me a lot of thinking time, on how to re-evaluate my life on the question "What is really important in my life". In the past I had been so caught up in staying with my then partner for the sake of making a happy home for Yasmin, that I did not realise we where both making life much harder for her by staying together and arguing all the time. This may be easy for someone who has not been through this situation to understand why....but when you are blinded by this sort of thing, it is very easy to kid yourself you are happy Anyway....I have since moved back up North so I can be closer to Yasmin, and have spent the past year now trying to put right some wrongs, and I have learnt that, to be a Father you must also be that persons friend...anything I do in my life will always be shared with her....if I have my friends around....she will be part of that....My work as a chef....she will spend time in the kitchen cooking with me, My love for music...I teach her how to mix and use the decks and music programs on my computer. Basically what I am saying is....I make Yasmin part of my life.....not an object. I hold my hand up, and say "I am not the best dad in the world by far" but what I do say is the secret to being a [B]good parent is not giving presents to children to make them happy for a while.....it is being present at every moment in there growing life [/B] that and also building there character and strengths so that they grow to be a confident and happy people. I’m very lucky I have so many good friends, and special people in my life that have also been a big influence on Yasmin, and also helped give her certain moments in her life that she has missed...you all know who you are...thank you So in answer to your question Nathan...Yes being a parent at a young age can work, and being a single parent makes no different what so ever....If you love that child like shabba said.....with a love that is second to non...then you will find a way to both be happy My ex wife and I have now done a lot of growing up, and even though we have a lot of pain between us, we always make sure that on Yasmins Birthday....we spend it together, as a family. This is IMO is the best present we could ever give her. [/QUOTE]
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