Falling in Love.
- Thread starter Amelie
- Start date
Lozzie
New member
I think alot of people haven't been in love...when they think they have, it's just the strongest thing they know...
You can't love anyone, untill you can completely love yourself first...you just can't reach that high point...as somthing always blocks you...like paranoia, feeling you're not good enough, expecting the worst. To me, this is infatuation, not love. There are times, you have to work hard at things that were once easy, but it's nothing compared to the joy you get from it.
I hate the "Oh...but I love him/her"...no you don't, they're horrible to you! You just can not bear to be without them...because you are scared of being alone!
Being single for 3 and a half years is the best thing IVE EVER done. I'm me...I know who I am. No one else is my crutch...I've found myself, and do not rely on any1 to reassure me on things. If I look good, then I look good. I do not demand a comment from someone. These are things you need when ur just in relationships aaaaaall the time. Not necesarilly the looks bit...
You should be whole on your own and NOT need someone else to complete you!!!! Where will you be when/if they go???
Just my thoughts of course...
Oh in answer to the question (after my rant) all of it, Love is one things to me...not some fragmented misshap...
You can't love anyone, untill you can completely love yourself first...you just can't reach that high point...as somthing always blocks you...like paranoia, feeling you're not good enough, expecting the worst. To me, this is infatuation, not love. There are times, you have to work hard at things that were once easy, but it's nothing compared to the joy you get from it.
I hate the "Oh...but I love him/her"...no you don't, they're horrible to you! You just can not bear to be without them...because you are scared of being alone!
Being single for 3 and a half years is the best thing IVE EVER done. I'm me...I know who I am. No one else is my crutch...I've found myself, and do not rely on any1 to reassure me on things. If I look good, then I look good. I do not demand a comment from someone. These are things you need when ur just in relationships aaaaaall the time. Not necesarilly the looks bit...
You should be whole on your own and NOT need someone else to complete you!!!! Where will you be when/if they go???
Just my thoughts of course...
Oh in answer to the question (after my rant) all of it, Love is one things to me...not some fragmented misshap...
Wow!
i totally agree with u here!
although, never had an actually boyfriend exclusively
so im sooo indepentdant& def dont need anyone else to fulfill my day really!
I totally get what ur sayin, i see my mates an they're just so comfortable on their relationships, thats all, they cant think that they'ed wake up without em!
x sam x
i totally agree with u here!
although, never had an actually boyfriend exclusively
so im sooo indepentdant& def dont need anyone else to fulfill my day really!
I totally get what ur sayin, i see my mates an they're just so comfortable on their relationships, thats all, they cant think that they'ed wake up without em!
x sam x
Wise words Lozzie (and from one of such tender years, too!)
The obvious analogy (i reck) is with drugs (bear with me a bit, dammit)!
When you "fall in love" for the first time, there's nothing to touch it. It affects you in a way nothing else ever does. Falling in love from that time on brings on a similar set of feelings, but it's never as intense as that first time.
Thing is, though, as with drugs "the more you do the better you get". You learn to appreciate the highs more, because you have experience of how fleeting they can be. you also learn more about yourself, and about what it really is that you're looking for (Lozzie's point).
The pure intensity of feeling is never there again, like it was the first time you fell in love. But you get more enjoyment out of falling in love as you gain experience, because you learn to appreciate it more. Maybe it's just me, but that's exactly how I felt about pills & stuff in the day...
Also, chasing the "high" of falling/being in love is, in my opinion, what leads so many people to cheat on their partners, or into bad relationships... it's why (to paraphrase Lozzie again) people say "but I love him/her", even though the relationship is actually terrible. It's fear of being alone, with an element of chasing that unattainable high which we all get the first time we properly fall for someone.
(and from one of such tender years, too!)The obvious analogy (i reck) is with drugs (bear with me a bit, dammit)!
When you "fall in love" for the first time, there's nothing to touch it. It affects you in a way nothing else ever does. Falling in love from that time on brings on a similar set of feelings, but it's never as intense as that first time.
Thing is, though, as with drugs "the more you do the better you get". You learn to appreciate the highs more, because you have experience of how fleeting they can be. you also learn more about yourself, and about what it really is that you're looking for (Lozzie's point).
The pure intensity of feeling is never there again, like it was the first time you fell in love. But you get more enjoyment out of falling in love as you gain experience, because you learn to appreciate it more. Maybe it's just me, but that's exactly how I felt about pills & stuff in the day...
Also, chasing the "high" of falling/being in love is, in my opinion, what leads so many people to cheat on their partners, or into bad relationships... it's why (to paraphrase Lozzie again) people say "but I love him/her", even though the relationship is actually terrible. It's fear of being alone, with an element of chasing that unattainable high which we all get the first time we properly fall for someone.
The best rollercoaster bit has got to the beginnings of a new relationship. That initial attraction you have towards someone, then the first time you got out, the random conversations about shit knows what, the first kiss, the first time you get naked together, etc etc. It's like scarey, but horney as fuck at the same time, brilliant!
Shame it doesn't happen very often, so I say make the most of it while it lasts! Drag it out a bit at the start, and enjoy those moments, coz it makes it even better when you know you both really, really want it! 
Shame it doesn't happen very often, so I say make the most of it while it lasts! Drag it out a bit at the start, and enjoy those moments, coz it makes it even better when you know you both really, really want it!
Shooms
Active member
- Jul 18, 2001
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Elev8/Levit8 said:group sex, i reckon
sack must never touch sack.... I've lived my life by that rule
Shooms said:sack must never touch sack.... I've lived my life by that rule
f00kin hell... I bet Christmas is shite round your house
Lozzie said:You should be whole on your own and NOT need someone else to complete you!!!! Where will you be when/if they go???
Just my thoughts of course...
QUOTE]
Spot on as usual Lozzie. You always have to be you, even when you are in a couple or in love. Otherwise its just a sickness, its projecting your own neediness on to someone else. And that nearly always ends in tears.
I've been out of a relationship for a year now, and I'm starting to really feel like I'm not that bothered either way anymore, which is really empowering. Of course its nice to share experiences with someone, have someone to talk to, share things with, support you, but at the end of the day, there's only really you.
Either that, or I've never been in love at 32, and I'm missing something, which I haven't ruled out lol.
@ Ed, soz dude the quoating option has gone tits lol.
I agree with this, yet i must fess up to something. I always said that the person you have in your life should be someone you want to have around, not need. Yet here i am, several years down the line in a relationship and i really need him- for all kinds of reasons. He puts me in a good mood all the time, he makes me laugh even when i think i can't, he makes me feel special (not like backwards special lol, though that has happend on occasions), and need this now, plus i need, not just want the closeness that we have. I also like feeling like i am needed. I don't know, i would have laughed at myself once upon a time, but know i see that maybe its okay to need someone.
Here is what really gets me, you say at the end of the day 'its really only you', but you know, for the first time in my life i don't feel like that. I know, really know in my heart that no matter what, even if we do spilt up (which neither of us want and will try so very hard to stop), he is my best freind for life. I won't be on my own again, i can be honest, warts and all (and i have a shit load of them), and still i am accepted, most importantly for the first time ever i am me and its ace.
I would like to point out however, that even though i am bang in love, if my boyfriend continues to be a lazy frigging slob i am packing my bags and fucking off with some hot 18 year old.
I agree with this, yet i must fess up to something. I always said that the person you have in your life should be someone you want to have around, not need. Yet here i am, several years down the line in a relationship and i really need him- for all kinds of reasons. He puts me in a good mood all the time, he makes me laugh even when i think i can't, he makes me feel special (not like backwards special lol, though that has happend on occasions), and need this now, plus i need, not just want the closeness that we have. I also like feeling like i am needed. I don't know, i would have laughed at myself once upon a time, but know i see that maybe its okay to need someone.
Here is what really gets me, you say at the end of the day 'its really only you', but you know, for the first time in my life i don't feel like that. I know, really know in my heart that no matter what, even if we do spilt up (which neither of us want and will try so very hard to stop), he is my best freind for life. I won't be on my own again, i can be honest, warts and all (and i have a shit load of them), and still i am accepted, most importantly for the first time ever i am me and its ace.
I would like to point out however, that even though i am bang in love, if my boyfriend continues to be a lazy frigging slob i am packing my bags and fucking off with some hot 18 year old.
Bang on the money, Amelie...
All that old pony about stuff being more than the sum of it's parts & stuff...
I'm also completely cool on me Jack Jones, but needing someone & being needed yourself is a special feeling (again, not in the Joey sense).
All that old pony about stuff being more than the sum of it's parts & stuff...
I'm also completely cool on me Jack Jones, but needing someone & being needed yourself is a special feeling (again, not in the Joey sense).
Amelie said:@ Ed, soz dude the quoating option has gone tits lol.
I agree with this, yet i must fess up to something. I always said that the person you have in your life should be someone you want to have around, not need. Yet here i am, several years down the line in a relationship and i really need him- for all kinds of reasons. He puts me in a good mood all the time, he makes me laugh even when i think i can't, he makes me feel special (not like backwards special lol, though that has happend on occasions), and need this now, plus i need, not just want the closeness that we have. I also like feeling like i am needed. I don't know, i would have laughed at myself once upon a time, but know i see that maybe its okay to need someone.
Here is what really gets me, you say at the end of the day 'its really only you', but you know, for the first time in my life i don't feel like that. I know, really know in my heart that no matter what, even if we do spilt up (which neither of us want and will try so very hard to stop), he is my best freind for life. I won't be on my own again, i can be honest, warts and all (and i have a shit load of them), and still i am accepted, most importantly for the first time ever i am me and its ace.
I would like to point out however, that even though i am bang in love, if my boyfriend continues to be a lazy frigging slob i am packing my bags and fucking off with some hot 18 year old.
Funnily enough I can agree with much of that as well. I just don't think I've ever really met someone where the sum is greater than the parts. Not for more than a short time anyway. That might sound arrogant on my side, but I'm sure they would all agree too lol!
