Reet then me weekend was a bit weird actually …….. who said that !…. Please make them go away mommy …..
Freeda nacht I'z a went round me neighbours house cos she had a bit of a problem with her hot water.
I nee fek all about plumbing so pleaze don't assle me.
N E Wayz I offered to have a look at her boiler n as it iz a aluminium heat exchager had a look at the water in the pipes. Just as I thought it was full of shite so decided to drain n refil the system (both hot water n heating work of the same system (mad a fek))
So I bezzed round to BnQ n got some feronox (impossible to get high from but it may kill you if drunk without 200% aniseed type alcohol that looks like maple syrup except wivout the colour).
To cut a long story short, and believe me I can ramble for quite a while. I did me stuff n sorted it all out, worked like a dream after I remembered to turn it back on.
So was washing me hands ready to get back to chillin listening to SteH's damn fine mixes when she arrived wiv a bockle of wine. Ok I thought decent vintage (not that I know owt) after a couple of hours and some funny looking blue stuff I said I woz off.
Well fek me sideways with a small hairy toofed mammoth. She had locked the doors .I asked her 4 the keyz n she said …. You can't go wev'e got more wine to drink n she starred at me funny …. Kinda like she needed a good old ertha but in a macarbe sort of a way.
I agreed and she became all anti-men how they were all rapists in disguise n how they should be castrated at birf etc etc etc. (I only said … in passing conversation that I could lick me own eyebrows n hold me bref for 10 mins (when I was playin with her pipes), how on earth did she interpret this as some kind of evil deviant act befitting to a category whatsit prisoner.
After a bit I genuinely needed a wee so asked her to show me the bathroom. After gushing like niagra falls in early spring I made a beeline for the conservatory (more like a lead 2 pvc shed (bitch ahah) and managed to vault over the wall running into the distance with me arm flailing like mr tickle.
Spent the rest of the weekend hiding from her. Psycho bitch from hell = me neighbour. I'm off to post flaming dog poop through her letterbox one morning cos she loves her furry slippers !!!!!!!!
Freeda nacht I'z a went round me neighbours house cos she had a bit of a problem with her hot water.
I nee fek all about plumbing so pleaze don't assle me.
N E Wayz I offered to have a look at her boiler n as it iz a aluminium heat exchager had a look at the water in the pipes. Just as I thought it was full of shite so decided to drain n refil the system (both hot water n heating work of the same system (mad a fek))
So I bezzed round to BnQ n got some feronox (impossible to get high from but it may kill you if drunk without 200% aniseed type alcohol that looks like maple syrup except wivout the colour).
To cut a long story short, and believe me I can ramble for quite a while. I did me stuff n sorted it all out, worked like a dream after I remembered to turn it back on.
So was washing me hands ready to get back to chillin listening to SteH's damn fine mixes when she arrived wiv a bockle of wine. Ok I thought decent vintage (not that I know owt) after a couple of hours and some funny looking blue stuff I said I woz off.
Well fek me sideways with a small hairy toofed mammoth. She had locked the doors .I asked her 4 the keyz n she said …. You can't go wev'e got more wine to drink n she starred at me funny …. Kinda like she needed a good old ertha but in a macarbe sort of a way.
I agreed and she became all anti-men how they were all rapists in disguise n how they should be castrated at birf etc etc etc. (I only said … in passing conversation that I could lick me own eyebrows n hold me bref for 10 mins (when I was playin with her pipes), how on earth did she interpret this as some kind of evil deviant act befitting to a category whatsit prisoner.
After a bit I genuinely needed a wee so asked her to show me the bathroom. After gushing like niagra falls in early spring I made a beeline for the conservatory (more like a lead 2 pvc shed (bitch ahah) and managed to vault over the wall running into the distance with me arm flailing like mr tickle.
Spent the rest of the weekend hiding from her. Psycho bitch from hell = me neighbour. I'm off to post flaming dog poop through her letterbox one morning cos she loves her furry slippers !!!!!!!!
