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<blockquote data-quote="nathan" data-source="post: 407214" data-attributes="member: 113">all true celebrity gossip etcINBOX*&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Message List*|*DeletePrevious*|*NextForward*|*Forward as Attachment*|*Reply*|*Reply AllSubject:**&quot;Does my bomb look big in this?&quot;From:**&quot;popbitch&quot; &lt;server@popbitch.com&gt;Date:**Fri, July 29, 2005 10:19 amTo:Priority:**NormalOptions:**View Full Header*|* View Printable Version | Add to Addressbook | Block Sender | Add Sender to Allow list&quot;The man holding the rucksack looked extremelydismayed.&quot; - eyewitness to suicide bomber.-----------------------------------------------------POPBITCH&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; _&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; _ _&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; _ __&nbsp;&nbsp; ___&nbsp; _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__ | '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | || .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_||_|&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; |_|&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 28.07.05 ISSUE 266Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribego to <a href="http://www.popbitch.com">http://www.popbitch.com</a> * Get down (on me), Shep!* Reasons not to be cheerful* Charts: James Blunt is number one-----------------------------------------------------&nbsp; &nbsp; &gt;&gt; Does my bomb look big in this? &lt;&lt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; Watch out fatties, it's a war-zone...&nbsp; &nbsp; A man was surrounded by police and arrested&nbsp; &nbsp; while walking by the Department of&nbsp; &nbsp; Health in Westminster this week. The&nbsp; &nbsp; gun-toting coppers were suspicious&nbsp; &nbsp; of his bulky appearance under a big jacket.&nbsp; &nbsp; He was taken to a police station to be&nbsp; &nbsp; searched where it was found that he was&nbsp; &nbsp; wearing no explosives. He was just&nbsp; &nbsp; extremely fat. (FYI: Beauty salons across Britain are reporting adrop in profits... now that the Metropolitan Policeare doing Brazilians for nothing...) -----------------------------------------------------Taja Sevelle, singer of mellow classic Love Is Contagious, has reinvented herself as a designer of kitchen gadgets and will unveil her latest on QVC.-----------------------------------------------------&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &gt;&gt; The director always hammers twice &lt;&lt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Val Kilmer comes to London, drinks a bit.&nbsp; &nbsp; The Postman Always Rings Twice is one of&nbsp; &nbsp; London's most popular stage shows, thanks&nbsp; &nbsp; to the performance of Val Kilmer.&nbsp; &nbsp; But Val isn't really enjoying his time in&nbsp; &nbsp; the West End. A recent performance&nbsp; &nbsp; ran late because Val locked himself in&nbsp; &nbsp; his dressing room. One of the producers&nbsp; &nbsp; had to break down the door to persuade&nbsp; &nbsp; the star to come out, as the once-chiselled&nbsp; &nbsp; Top Gun star is now depressed, getting fat&nbsp; &nbsp; and drinking heavily.----------------------------------------------------- A man in Tokyo was been hurling acid on the arses of women wearing jeans because he said &quot;It really turned me on to see a butt in a pair of jeans.&quot; ----------------------------------------------------- &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &gt;&gt; Nanny state update &lt;&lt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; Hunks to be banned from booze ads?&nbsp; &nbsp; While Iraq debates a new constitution that &nbsp; &nbsp; women's groups say will reduce their rights &nbsp; &nbsp; and take society back to the middle ages, &nbsp; &nbsp; the UK bureaucrats are trying to convince British&nbsp; &nbsp; women to stop getting so drunk. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Drinks companies have been ordered to use uglier &nbsp; &nbsp; men in their advertising campaigns. The &nbsp; &nbsp; Advertising Standards Authority believes &nbsp; &nbsp; &quot;balding&quot; and &quot;paunchy&quot; men would be less likely &nbsp; &nbsp; to encourage women to drink to achieve social &nbsp; &nbsp; success. &nbsp; &nbsp; Should be more lucrative Bacardi Breezer &nbsp; &nbsp; commercials in the pipeline for Vinnie Jones,&nbsp; &nbsp; then. (Or for Val Kilmer...)----------------------------------------------------- Delta Goodrem and Brian McFaddeen spotted last week at Enoteca restaurant in Melbourne being greeted with shouts of&nbsp; “Delta we love you and your fat boyfriend”.----------------------------------------------------- &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &gt;&gt; Reasons to be fearful &lt;&lt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Ecstacy bombers! Forked penises! Ricky Martin!&nbsp; &nbsp; Stop fretting about the man next to you on the&nbsp; &nbsp; tube with the rucksack - here are some fresh&nbsp; &nbsp; alternative things to fill you with terror.&nbsp; &nbsp; 1. Rich Saudis have been buying up ecstasy in &nbsp; &nbsp; London, and smuggling it back to the Middle &nbsp; &nbsp; East. Rumour has it that the pills are given to &nbsp; &nbsp; suicide bombers. So not only are they killing &nbsp; &nbsp; people... they're enjoying themselves at&nbsp; &nbsp; the same time! That doesn't seem fair.&nbsp; &nbsp; 2. Your mobile phones is melting your eyes.&nbsp; &nbsp; Although the effect on your brain is minimal, &nbsp; &nbsp; Israeli scientists have discovered that the &nbsp; &nbsp; radiation from your phone may make&nbsp; &nbsp; bubbles appear in the lenses of your eyes. Great.<a href="http://cellphones.engadget.com/entry/1234000363052092/">http://cellphones.engadget.com/entry/1234000363052092/</a>&nbsp; &nbsp; 3. Koalas, iguanas, and Komodo Dragons all have&nbsp; &nbsp; forked penises. Actually, that's only really &nbsp; &nbsp; scary if one of them is having sex with you.&nbsp; &nbsp; 4. Osama Bin Laden is trying to poison your &nbsp; &nbsp; cocaine. Is nothing sacred these days?<a href="http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=18911">http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=18911</a>&nbsp; &nbsp; 5. Ricky Martin is getting into Middle East &nbsp; &nbsp; Politics. &quot;I will defend you and try to get &nbsp; &nbsp; rid of any stereotypes,&quot; he told Arab teenagers &nbsp; &nbsp; recently. &quot;I come from Latin America and to some&nbsp; &nbsp; countries, we are considered losers or &nbsp; &nbsp; drug traffickers.&quot;----------------------------------------------------- The proper name for a whale's penis is a dork. ----------------------------------------------------- &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &gt;&gt; Big Question &lt;&lt; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; What people are asking this week &nbsp; &nbsp; Which controversial member of President Bush's&nbsp; &nbsp; inner circle has set tongues wagging in rich&nbsp; &nbsp; gay New York circles that he is a closeted &nbsp; &nbsp; member of the gays?&nbsp; &nbsp; Which Brit rapper bought himself a night&nbsp; &nbsp; with a high-class hooker this week?&nbsp; &nbsp; And she's about to sell her story to&nbsp; &nbsp; the tabloids.-----------------------------------------------------Love You Honey, an Australian racehorse, tested positive for cocaine after coming last in a race.----------------------------------------------------- &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &gt;&gt; Legal Dangerwank &lt;&lt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Even posh blokes like a hand-shandyMr_concrete writes:&nbsp; &nbsp; &quot;Was told by a colleague today how he was once&nbsp; &nbsp; given the job of showing famous barrister &nbsp; &nbsp; and media pundit Anthony Scrivener QC into a &nbsp; &nbsp; remote TV studio around the back of a provincial&nbsp; &nbsp; radio station so he could take part in a discussion&nbsp; &nbsp; on Newsnight. &nbsp; &nbsp; &quot;Hmmmm&quot; says the brief, as he enters the &nbsp; &nbsp; cupboard-like room, &quot;Sort of place you could &nbsp; &nbsp; have a wank, isn't it?&quot;-----------------------------------------------------A parrot got into trouble in an animal sanctuary in Nuneaton by telling policemen, &quot;You can fuck off you two wankers&quot;.----------------------------------------------------- &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &gt;&gt; &quot;Ruff&quot; sex &lt;&lt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Blind man makes love to guide dog&nbsp; &nbsp; A blind man in Tallahassee, Florida has been &nbsp; &nbsp; having sex with his guide dog. Alan Yoder, 29, &nbsp; &nbsp; has been is charged with a &quot;breach of the peace, &nbsp; &nbsp; by engaging in sexual activity with a guide &nbsp; &nbsp; dog,&quot; as Florida laws don't prohibit bestiality. &nbsp; &nbsp; He was found out when he asked a female friend&nbsp; &nbsp; to join him in a threesome with his dog. She &nbsp; &nbsp; prudishly refused, and instead told a&nbsp; &nbsp; friend who called the police. ----------------------------------------------------- Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny who was allergicto carrots, is buried in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, LA. His gravestone says &quot;That's All, Folks!&quot;----------------------------------------------------- &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &gt;&gt; She's Outta Love?&nbsp; &lt;&lt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; What's gone wrong for Anastacia&nbsp; &nbsp; Is it all over for Anastacia? &nbsp; &nbsp; Chart success in UK is fading, with the&nbsp; &nbsp; same happening in her biggest&nbsp; market, &nbsp; &nbsp; Germany. Her tour there has bombed. For an &nbsp;&nbsp; artist who has sold over 15million albums &nbsp;&nbsp; it doesn't look good that she hasn't sold&nbsp;&nbsp; even 400,000 tickets on her first and&nbsp;&nbsp; European tour. And for her shows in UK she's&nbsp;&nbsp; been too scared to stay here because of &nbsp;&nbsp; terrorist attacks so stays in Dublin and flies &nbsp; &nbsp; in and out of UK on her private jet. Boo.----------------------------------------------------- Keanu Reeves, spotted in The Cow pub London, having a chat with staff about varieties of oysters.----------------------------------------------------- &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &gt;&gt; Things that make you go hmmm &lt;&lt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Kelly, Frank, weirdos and Belinda&nbsp; &nbsp; Brilliantly creepy video <a href="http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/rubberjohnny.html">http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/rubberjohnny.html</a>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Popbitch's new favourite music star:<a href="http://www.belindabedekovic.com/video_fl_en.htm">http://www.belindabedekovic.com/video_fl_en.htm</a>&nbsp; &nbsp; Bootleg of the year! Kelly Clarkson's &nbsp; &nbsp; wonderful Max Martin penned &quot;Since You've Been&nbsp; &nbsp; Gone&quot; mashed up with ex-Pixie Frank Black's &nbsp; &nbsp; &quot;You ain't me&quot;:<a href="http://gyllerfelt.se/data/Divide_&amp;_Kreate_-_Since_you_aint_me.mp3">http://gyllerfelt.se/data/Divide_&amp;_Kreate_-_Since_you_aint_me.mp3</a>&nbsp; &nbsp; Are you Billy No-mates? Find what your friends&nbsp; &nbsp; are up to using buddyPing. It lets you know &nbsp; &nbsp; where they are and what they are up to on &nbsp; &nbsp; your mobile when you are out and about:<a href="http://www.buddyping.com">http://www.buddyping.com</a>&nbsp; &nbsp; Discreet Deliveries summer sale. Sex toys, &nbsp; &nbsp; kinky clothing, porno mags and more. &nbsp; &nbsp; Type &quot;popbitch&quot; into the comments field at the &nbsp; &nbsp; checkout and get 10% off:<a href="http://www.discreetdeliveries.co.uk">http://www.discreetdeliveries.co.uk</a> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &gt;&gt; Chart Predictions &lt;&lt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; New entries for 31st July 2005++ Number OneJAMES BLUNT You're Beautiful++ Top TenDANIEL POWTER Bad DayEMINEM Ass Like That++ Top TwentyBANANARAMA Move In My DirectionNINE INCH NAILS OnlyUNITING NATIONS You And MeDANCING DJS V ROXETTE Fading Flower++ Top FortyNATALIE IMBURGLIA Counting Down The DaysMARTIN SOLVEIG Everybody EL PRESIDENTE Without YouTONY CHRISTIE Avenues And AlleywaysMADNESS Shame &amp; ScandalLUCY SILVAS Don't Look BackBRIGHT EYES Easy Lucky Free&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &gt;&gt; End Bit &lt;&lt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Help Popbitch!* Email stories, gossip: <a href="mailto:hello@popbitch.com">hello@popbitch.com</a>* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.* Web hosting by: <a href="http://www.thebunker.net">http://www.thebunker.net</a>* Mail by aysabtu**************************************************Thanks to: N, AM, major_bloodnok, SB, HJ, craig,C, SV, clare-a-belle, major_bloodnok, aristocat,ravemonkey, party_b, * Trust the DJ for the Mark Rae album:<a href="http://www.trustthedj.com/product_info.php?manufacturers_id=98&amp;products_id=4">http://www.trustthedj.com/product_info.php?manufacturers_id=98&amp;products_id=4</a>31 * <a href="http://www.survivalmate.com">http://www.survivalmate.com</a> for the festival kits* Astralwerks NYC for the albums*****************************************************Old Jokes' Home:A man goes into a sex shop to buy an inflatable doll. &quot;Would you like male or female?&quot; asks the assistant.&quot;Female, please.&quot;&quot;Would you like Black, or White?&quot;&quot;Black, please&quot;&quot;Would you like a Christian or Muslim?&quot;This question confused the man. &quot;What has religion got to do with it?&nbsp; he asks.&quot;Well,&quot; explained the assistant, &quot;The Muslim one blows itself up...&quot;Still Bored?Want the perfect lesbian wedding song? Even ifyou don't, try some Australian-Japanesecountry-western-jazz:<a href="http://cdbaby.com/cd/burke5">http://cdbaby.com/cd/burke5</a></blockquote>

[QUOTE="nathan, post: 407214, member: 113"] all true celebrity gossip etc INBOX* Message List*|*Delete Previous*|*Next Forward*|*Forward as Attachment*|*Reply*|*Reply All Subject:** "Does my bomb look big in this?" From:** "popbitch" <server@popbitch.com> Date:** Fri, July 29, 2005 10:19 am To: Priority:** Normal Options:** View Full Header*|* View Printable Version | Add to Addressbook | Block Sender | Add Sender to Allow list "The man holding the rucksack looked extremely dismayed." - eyewitness to suicide bomber. ----------------------------------------------------- POPBITCH _ _ _ _ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__ | '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \ | |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | | | .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_| |_| |_| 28.07.05 ISSUE 266 Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe go to [url]http://www.popbitch.com[/url] * Get down (on me), Shep! * Reasons not to be cheerful * Charts: James Blunt is number one ----------------------------------------------------- >> Does my bomb look big in this? << Watch out fatties, it's a war-zone... A man was surrounded by police and arrested while walking by the Department of Health in Westminster this week. The gun-toting coppers were suspicious of his bulky appearance under a big jacket. He was taken to a police station to be searched where it was found that he was wearing no explosives. He was just extremely fat. (FYI: Beauty salons across Britain are reporting a drop in profits... now that the Metropolitan Police are doing Brazilians for nothing...) ----------------------------------------------------- Taja Sevelle, singer of mellow classic Love Is Contagious, has reinvented herself as a designer of kitchen gadgets and will unveil her latest on QVC. ----------------------------------------------------- >> The director always hammers twice << Val Kilmer comes to London, drinks a bit. The Postman Always Rings Twice is one of London's most popular stage shows, thanks to the performance of Val Kilmer. But Val isn't really enjoying his time in the West End. A recent performance ran late because Val locked himself in his dressing room. One of the producers had to break down the door to persuade the star to come out, as the once-chiselled Top Gun star is now depressed, getting fat and drinking heavily. ----------------------------------------------------- A man in Tokyo was been hurling acid on the arses of women wearing jeans because he said "It really turned me on to see a butt in a pair of jeans." ----------------------------------------------------- >> Nanny state update << Hunks to be banned from booze ads? While Iraq debates a new constitution that women's groups say will reduce their rights and take society back to the middle ages, the UK bureaucrats are trying to convince British women to stop getting so drunk. Drinks companies have been ordered to use uglier men in their advertising campaigns. The Advertising Standards Authority believes "balding" and "paunchy" men would be less likely to encourage women to drink to achieve social success. Should be more lucrative Bacardi Breezer commercials in the pipeline for Vinnie Jones, then. (Or for Val Kilmer...) ----------------------------------------------------- Delta Goodrem and Brian McFaddeen spotted last week at Enoteca restaurant in Melbourne being greeted with shouts of “Delta we love you and your fat boyfriend”. ----------------------------------------------------- >> Reasons to be fearful << Ecstacy bombers! Forked penises! Ricky Martin! Stop fretting about the man next to you on the tube with the rucksack - here are some fresh alternative things to fill you with terror. 1. Rich Saudis have been buying up ecstasy in London, and smuggling it back to the Middle East. Rumour has it that the pills are given to suicide bombers. So not only are they killing people... they're enjoying themselves at the same time! That doesn't seem fair. 2. Your mobile phones is melting your eyes. Although the effect on your brain is minimal, Israeli scientists have discovered that the radiation from your phone may make bubbles appear in the lenses of your eyes. Great. [url]http://cellphones.engadget.com/entry/1234000363052092/[/url] 3. Koalas, iguanas, and Komodo Dragons all have forked penises. Actually, that's only really scary if one of them is having sex with you. 4. Osama Bin Laden is trying to poison your cocaine. Is nothing sacred these days? [url]http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=18911[/url] 5. Ricky Martin is getting into Middle East Politics. "I will defend you and try to get rid of any stereotypes," he told Arab teenagers recently. "I come from Latin America and to some countries, we are considered losers or drug traffickers." ----------------------------------------------------- The proper name for a whale's penis is a dork. ----------------------------------------------------- >> Big Question << What people are asking this week Which controversial member of President Bush's inner circle has set tongues wagging in rich gay New York circles that he is a closeted member of the gays? Which Brit rapper bought himself a night with a high-class hooker this week? And she's about to sell her story to the tabloids. ----------------------------------------------------- Love You Honey, an Australian racehorse, tested positive for cocaine after coming last in a race. ----------------------------------------------------- >> Legal Dangerwank << Even posh blokes like a hand-shandy Mr_concrete writes: "Was told by a colleague today how he was once given the job of showing famous barrister and media pundit Anthony Scrivener QC into a remote TV studio around the back of a provincial radio station so he could take part in a discussion on Newsnight. "Hmmmm" says the brief, as he enters the cupboard-like room, "Sort of place you could have a wank, isn't it?" ----------------------------------------------------- A parrot got into trouble in an animal sanctuary in Nuneaton by telling policemen, "You can fuck off you two wankers". ----------------------------------------------------- >> "Ruff" sex << Blind man makes love to guide dog A blind man in Tallahassee, Florida has been having sex with his guide dog. Alan Yoder, 29, has been is charged with a "breach of the peace, by engaging in sexual activity with a guide dog," as Florida laws don't prohibit bestiality. He was found out when he asked a female friend to join him in a threesome with his dog. She prudishly refused, and instead told a friend who called the police. ----------------------------------------------------- Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny who was allergic to carrots, is buried in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, LA. His gravestone says "That's All, Folks!" ----------------------------------------------------- >> She's Outta Love? << What's gone wrong for Anastacia Is it all over for Anastacia? Chart success in UK is fading, with the same happening in her biggest market, Germany. Her tour there has bombed. For an artist who has sold over 15million albums it doesn't look good that she hasn't sold even 400,000 tickets on her first and European tour. And for her shows in UK she's been too scared to stay here because of terrorist attacks so stays in Dublin and flies in and out of UK on her private jet. Boo. ----------------------------------------------------- Keanu Reeves, spotted in The Cow pub London, having a chat with staff about varieties of oysters. ----------------------------------------------------- >> Things that make you go hmmm << Kelly, Frank, weirdos and Belinda Brilliantly creepy video [url]http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/rubberjohnny.html[/url] Popbitch's new favourite music star: [url]http://www.belindabedekovic.com/video_fl_en.htm[/url] Bootleg of the year! Kelly Clarkson's wonderful Max Martin penned "Since You've Been Gone" mashed up with ex-Pixie Frank Black's "You ain't me": [url]http://gyllerfelt.se/data/Divide_&_Kreate_-_Since_you_aint_me.mp3[/url] Are you Billy No-mates? Find what your friends are up to using buddyPing. It lets you know where they are and what they are up to on your mobile when you are out and about: [url]http://www.buddyping.com[/url] Discreet Deliveries summer sale. Sex toys, kinky clothing, porno mags and more. Type "popbitch" into the comments field at the checkout and get 10% off: [url]http://www.discreetdeliveries.co.uk[/url] >> Chart Predictions << New entries for 31st July 2005 ++ Number One JAMES BLUNT You're Beautiful ++ Top Ten DANIEL POWTER Bad Day EMINEM Ass Like That ++ Top Twenty BANANARAMA Move In My Direction NINE INCH NAILS Only UNITING NATIONS You And Me DANCING DJS V ROXETTE Fading Flower ++ Top Forty NATALIE IMBURGLIA Counting Down The Days MARTIN SOLVEIG Everybody EL PRESIDENTE Without You TONY CHRISTIE Avenues And Alleyways MADNESS Shame & Scandal LUCY SILVAS Don't Look Back BRIGHT EYES Easy Lucky Free >> End Bit << Help Popbitch! * Email stories, gossip: [email]hello@popbitch.com[/email] * Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd. * Web hosting by: [url]http://www.thebunker.net[/url] * Mail by aysabtu ************************************************** Thanks to: N, AM, major_bloodnok, SB, HJ, craig, C, SV, clare-a-belle, major_bloodnok, aristocat, ravemonkey, party_b, * Trust the DJ for the Mark Rae album: [url]http://www.trustthedj.com/product_info.php?manufacturers_id=98&products_id=4[/url] 31 * [url]http://www.survivalmate.com[/url] for the festival kits * Astralwerks NYC for the albums ***************************************************** Old Jokes' Home: A man goes into a sex shop to buy an inflatable doll. "Would you like male or female?" asks the assistant. "Female, please." "Would you like Black, or White?" "Black, please" "Would you like a Christian or Muslim?" This question confused the man. "What has religion got to do with it? he asks. "Well," explained the assistant, "The Muslim one blows itself up..." Still Bored? Want the perfect lesbian wedding song? Even if you don't, try some Australian-Japanese country-western-jazz: [url]http://cdbaby.com/cd/burke5[/url] [/QUOTE]

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