lol recently in a moment of extreme cheesiness and lots of wine I sent my missus the lyrics to 'have I told you lately that I love you' by van morrison. Yes cheesetastic I know. But not being from round these parts she thought it was a poem I'd written about me and her lol and it made her cry and she kept telling me how great I was. I toyed with the idea of not saying anything and my mate matthew said 'it's fine as long as she never gets to hear magic fm' lol. I n the end I fessed up and she was totally cool about it and loved it non the less. Which brings me on to dilemma number two. I am meeting my ex for a drink soon we usually meet once a year around xmas as she now lives in berlin. There is no chemistry whatsoever between us and there never really was much in the first place. I can't see why i should tell my current girlfriend about this really. What do you think. I can't see how she'll find out either and I don't want to make her paranoid. I know I'd probably feel a bit weird about her meeting up with an ex.
should i tell her or shouldn't I
- Thread starter nathan
- Start date
i think you should just tell her, she may never find out but then you might feel guilty afterwards, then if you told her later she may ask why you didn't say something in the first place and get the wrong idea and be suspiscious.
honesty is the best policy
afterwards you might think "shit i should have told her"
jayne x
honesty is the best policy
afterwards you might think "shit i should have told her"jayne x
This all depends on the type of person your girlfriend is...and only you know the answer to that!!!!
if she is insecure in the slightest this will no doubt bother her very much and could inevitably cause upset!!!
however if she is the type of person to trust you then what have you got to lose!!!!! tell her..........!
just out of interest would it bother you her meeting her ex for a drink each xmas!
if she is insecure in the slightest this will no doubt bother her very much and could inevitably cause upset!!!
however if she is the type of person to trust you then what have you got to lose!!!!! tell her..........!
just out of interest would it bother you her meeting her ex for a drink each xmas!
hhmmm
its weird isn't it cause you know in your own head when a relationship is totally platonic. But when someone else is looking at it it may look dodgy. Would I mind if she met an ex each xmas no I doubt it. Not if I knew she didn't still have feelings for him. I may yet tell the current one about it but she is female and I know she wouldn't say anything but she would worry and I'd feel sorry for making her worry.
Northern Star said:This all depends on the type of person your girlfriend is...and only you know the answer to that!!!!
if she is insecure in the slightest this will no doubt bother her very much and could inevitably cause upset!!!
however if she is the type of person to trust you then what have you got to lose!!!!! tell her..........!
just out of interest would it bother you her meeting her ex for a drink each xmas!
its weird isn't it cause you know in your own head when a relationship is totally platonic. But when someone else is looking at it it may look dodgy. Would I mind if she met an ex each xmas no I doubt it. Not if I knew she didn't still have feelings for him. I may yet tell the current one about it but she is female and I know she wouldn't say anything but she would worry and I'd feel sorry for making her worry.
nathan said:
yep you have hit the nail on the head their Nath lad!!!! It is always possible to percieve that because there was once feelings there, there may be again! And i think that is maybe the route cause of the issues with ex's!!!!
Can your lass not go with you and then you can all have a coffee together.........everyones a winner, luvley jubbley!!! lol
if there's absolutely no feelings then there shouldn't be a problem with telling your g/f. there may not be a problem with not telling her but you might feel guilty about it etc, and anyways if you love each other then it shouldn't matter one bit..
the fact that you've had to put a poll up suggests you're not easy with the whole situation, just tell your g/f how it is.
the fact that you've had to put a poll up suggests you're not easy with the whole situation, just tell your g/f how it is.
feck it.. tell her and go an meet the ex. Back scuttle her and then get the new gf involved and have some Nathan sandwich action on the go. Bob's ya auntie !!!
or maybe I should lay off the porn?
---
fug
"A Stick? Level 12 and all you have is a STICK??????"
or maybe I should lay off the porn?
---
fug
"A Stick? Level 12 and all you have is a STICK??????"
dont tell her, shes female, she'll read things the wrong way no matter how much explaining you do telling her it was totally plutonic.
Whats right and whats wrong aint the issue here its the outcome and consequenses you face if you say something,
if you did nothing you have nothing to hide theres no problem, so dont create one
Whats right and whats wrong aint the issue here its the outcome and consequenses you face if you say something,
if you did nothing you have nothing to hide theres no problem, so dont create one
pmsl
best suggestion yet.
fugjostle said:feck it.. tell her and go an meet the ex. Back scuttle her and then get the new gf involved and have some Nathan sandwich action on the go. Bob's ya auntie !!!
or maybe I should lay off the porn?
---
fug
"A Stick? Level 12 and all you have is a STICK??????"
best suggestion yet.
cam said:dont tell her, shes female, she'll read things the wrong way no matter how much explaining you do telling her it was totally plutonic.
Whats right and whats wrong aint the issue here its the outcome and consequenses you face if you say something,
if you did nothing you have nothing to hide theres no problem, so dont create one
lol you just have no idea about women, do you??
this
is pretty much what I was thinking.
cam said:dont tell her, shes female, she'll read things the wrong way no matter how much explaining you do telling her it was totally plutonic.
Whats right and whats wrong aint the issue here its the outcome and consequenses you face if you say something,
if you did nothing you have nothing to hide theres no problem, so dont create one
is pretty much what I was thinking.
misstickle said:
me and nathen then
i know women very well hun.
Mind of there own when on one and wont shut the fuck up when it starts, also the memories also a bugger, she'll still go on about this in the year 2025 if your still together
exactly....
can anyone tell me one positive thing that could come out of me telling her?
no? Thats cause there isn';t one. Only negatives. I am not cheating I am having a tea with an ex for an hour. Its boring and she doesn't need to know as far as I am concerned
cam said:me and nathen then
i know women very well hun.
Mind of there own when on one and wont shut the fuck up when it starts, also the memories also a bugger, she'll still go on about this in the year 2025 if your still together
can anyone tell me one positive thing that could come out of me telling her?
no? Thats cause there isn';t one. Only negatives. I am not cheating I am having a tea with an ex for an hour. Its boring and she doesn't need to know as far as I am concerned
nathan said:
Well this is the next step isnt it.....can you approach each other in such ways.......tell the truth and be trusted and respected for doing...id say that was a positive!!!!!
When does it end, are you going to run from such issues for the rest of ur days together........test the waters now not later when things get a whole lot more complicated........the thing is........if she says to you that she isnt happy bout you meeting ur ex...then what are 'YOU' going to do about is more the issue....is this what you are really scared of.......havin to make the choice????
Ask urself really....why is this such a big deal.....she may not like it........but you do have a choice!!!!!!!
i think also you will find if you said 'ok then i wont go, i care for you too much, then reverse phycology will win the day and she will end up saying...awwww im sorry of course you should go, im just being silly....then you can get all these issue out in the open at this time!!!! '..........makes perfect sense hahahahahah :S :|
2 good pieces of advice
Honesty is the best policy.
&
If ya dont know it cant hurt ya.
Id personally keep stum if the chances of her findin out are slim, if she does just say ya didn't even think it was a big deal or someother crap.
Honesty is the best policy.
&
If ya dont know it cant hurt ya.
Id personally keep stum if the chances of her findin out are slim, if she does just say ya didn't even think it was a big deal or someother crap.
yes
Northern Star said:Well this is the next step isnt it.....can you approach each other in such ways.......tell the truth and be trusted and respected for doing...id say that was a positive!!!!!
When does it end, are you going to run from such issues for the rest of ur days together........test the waters now not later when things get a whole lot more complicated........the thing is........if she says to you that she isnt happy bout you meeting ur ex...then what are 'YOU' going to do about is more the issue....is this what you are really scared of.......havin to make the choice????
Ask urself really....why is this such a big deal.....she may not like it........but you do have a choice!!!!!!!
i think also you will find if you said 'ok then i wont go, i care for you too much, then reverse phycology will win the day and she will end up saying...awwww im sorry of course you should go, im just being silly....then you can get all these issue out in the open at this time!!!! '..........makes perfect sense hahahahahah :S :|[/QUOTE
But what you are saying involves playing games and manipulation and I don't want to get into any of that . This is what i'm saying when I say negatives can only come. I could tell her she'd be totally cool wouldn't say a thing as she is lovely
Why are you going to see her and what do you want from the meeting?
Does she want the same?
Meeting an X is great if your single, when your in a relationship it causes problems, even if it is as friends it can still cause a lot of hurt.
Is your mrs the jealous type? Is she very very understanding?
How would you feel if she was off to tea with her X?
Could you trust her?
Would you like it if you could trust her?
loads of factors to consider in this mate.
personally I reckon your asking for trouble if you go through with it and because of this I think you should shag your X, no point in getting into bother for fuck all reason
Does she want the same?
Meeting an X is great if your single, when your in a relationship it causes problems, even if it is as friends it can still cause a lot of hurt.
Is your mrs the jealous type? Is she very very understanding?
How would you feel if she was off to tea with her X?
Could you trust her?
Would you like it if you could trust her?
loads of factors to consider in this mate.
personally I reckon your asking for trouble if you go through with it and because of this I think you should shag your X, no point in getting into bother for fuck all reason
nathan said:But what you are saying involves playing games and manipulation and I don't want to get into any of that . This is what i'm saying when I say negatives can only come. I could tell her she'd be totally cool wouldn't say a thing as she is lovely
So why are you meeting this ex then? If it's gonna cause charlotte pain then dont do it! Simple!
If you feel it's your right to meet the ex, then Charlotte should trust you enough to know that you care about her more than anything else and would never cheat on her. If she doesnt know this then she needs her head checking, just like you do lol
