Optional but helpful Step 1 – gain assistance from a gud m8
Step 1 - buy a new cat travellin box (cos u lent urs 2 ur brother's mother in law)
Step 2 - leave the newly bought box in the car until the last possible moment)
Step 3 - change the catflap so they can get in but not out
Step 4 - wait 4 em 2 wander thro the catflap
Step 5 - 20 mins l8r wonder if they r gonna come in
Step 6 - 10 mins l8rm get stressed that they have got wind of the visit
Step 7 - rattle tin of cat food so they think it's tea time
Step 8 - put food down in the hope that it'll persuade em 2 come in
Step 9 - worry where they r
Step 10 - open the back door & call em lovingly
Step 11 - worry where they r
Step 12 - consider callin the vets 2 cancel
Step 13 - see 1 in the bushes
Step 14 - rattle tin of cat food
Step 15 - 1 of em wanders thro the door
Step 16 - call the other 1 lovingly
Step 17 - shut the door cos the 1's that's in will get out
Step 18 - rattle tin again
Step 19 - the other 1 appears from nowhere
Step 20 - call the 1 that's left
Step 21 - pray as he draws near
Step 22 - as soon as in range grab hold & don't let go
Step 23 - open the door & shove him thro as well as urself
Step 24 - breath a huge sigh of relief that u don't have 2 cancel the vets appt again
Step 25 – go out 2 the car & retrieve the cat box
Step 26 – lower cat box 2 floor height & open the front door
Step 27 shove cat box thro the front door (carefully) & get thro asap urself
Step 28 – put cat box down in the middle of the floor
Step 29 – cover cat box in cat nip in the hope that it’ll smell more apeallin 2 cats
Step 30 see the look of horror on the cats’ faces
Step 31 – 1 runs upstairs & the other tries 2 escape thro the cat flap
Step 32 – retrieve the cat from the cat flap, put a heavy box in front of the cat flap, so escapee can’t escape
Step 33 – pick 1st cat up, mind the talons they r out now
Step 34 – try 2 put said cat in the cat box
Step 35 - repeat steps 32,33
Step 36 – after succesful completion of 35 find the other cat
Step 37 – retrieve cat from upstairs, bein careful of talons
Step 39 – try 2 put cat no 2 in cat box without cat no 1 escapin
Step 40 – repeat steps 35 – 39 until successful
Step 41 – put cat box in car
Step 42 – start the jounery (vet’s practise only 5 mins away)
Step 43 - Keep an eye on meowin cats
Step 44 – Sing happily this helps
Step 45 – Open windows 2 stop urself bein sick cos of the smell
Step 46 – Blame the smell on farmers muck spreadin
Step 47 – check on cats
Step 48 – open car window, the smell isn’t down 2 the farmer
Step 49 – the cat makes attempt 2 hide the offendin smell by sittin on it
Step 49 – breathe in thro the window & out in the car
Step 50 - arrive at the vets (5 mins can seem so long)
Step 51 – apologise at the vets 4 the smell
Step 52 – take cat box in2 the vet’s room
Step 53 – apologise 2 the vet’s assistant who has 2 clean out the cat box
Step 54 – vet gives cats once over with no probs
Step 55 – pay the bill
Step 56 – travel home with no interruptions
Step 57 – take cat box upstairs
Step 58 – shut bathroom door
Step 59 – fight with m8 as 2 who has the bog & who has the sink 2 retch in
Step 60 – clean & dry each cat
Step 61 - retrieve cat from attempt on your CLEAN bed
Step 62 – open the cat flap
Step 62 – both cats dive out of the cat flap
Step 63 – remove all clothin & put on a wash in machine
Step 64 – poor urself a large drink
Step 65 – drink said drink & have a moggy free evein (pure cat lovers will worry themselves silly that the cat’s wont’ come back)
Step 66 – feed cats as norm the next morning
Based on a true story cat & joker promotions
P.S. dog owners need not worry this does not apply 2 em!!!
Step 1 - buy a new cat travellin box (cos u lent urs 2 ur brother's mother in law)
Step 2 - leave the newly bought box in the car until the last possible moment)
Step 3 - change the catflap so they can get in but not out
Step 4 - wait 4 em 2 wander thro the catflap
Step 5 - 20 mins l8r wonder if they r gonna come in
Step 6 - 10 mins l8rm get stressed that they have got wind of the visit
Step 7 - rattle tin of cat food so they think it's tea time
Step 8 - put food down in the hope that it'll persuade em 2 come in
Step 9 - worry where they r
Step 10 - open the back door & call em lovingly
Step 11 - worry where they r
Step 12 - consider callin the vets 2 cancel
Step 13 - see 1 in the bushes
Step 14 - rattle tin of cat food
Step 15 - 1 of em wanders thro the door
Step 16 - call the other 1 lovingly
Step 17 - shut the door cos the 1's that's in will get out
Step 18 - rattle tin again
Step 19 - the other 1 appears from nowhere
Step 20 - call the 1 that's left
Step 21 - pray as he draws near
Step 22 - as soon as in range grab hold & don't let go
Step 23 - open the door & shove him thro as well as urself
Step 24 - breath a huge sigh of relief that u don't have 2 cancel the vets appt again
Step 25 – go out 2 the car & retrieve the cat box
Step 26 – lower cat box 2 floor height & open the front door
Step 27 shove cat box thro the front door (carefully) & get thro asap urself
Step 28 – put cat box down in the middle of the floor
Step 29 – cover cat box in cat nip in the hope that it’ll smell more apeallin 2 cats
Step 30 see the look of horror on the cats’ faces
Step 31 – 1 runs upstairs & the other tries 2 escape thro the cat flap
Step 32 – retrieve the cat from the cat flap, put a heavy box in front of the cat flap, so escapee can’t escape
Step 33 – pick 1st cat up, mind the talons they r out now
Step 34 – try 2 put said cat in the cat box
Step 35 - repeat steps 32,33
Step 36 – after succesful completion of 35 find the other cat
Step 37 – retrieve cat from upstairs, bein careful of talons
Step 39 – try 2 put cat no 2 in cat box without cat no 1 escapin
Step 40 – repeat steps 35 – 39 until successful
Step 41 – put cat box in car
Step 42 – start the jounery (vet’s practise only 5 mins away)
Step 43 - Keep an eye on meowin cats
Step 44 – Sing happily this helps
Step 45 – Open windows 2 stop urself bein sick cos of the smell
Step 46 – Blame the smell on farmers muck spreadin
Step 47 – check on cats
Step 48 – open car window, the smell isn’t down 2 the farmer
Step 49 – the cat makes attempt 2 hide the offendin smell by sittin on it
Step 49 – breathe in thro the window & out in the car
Step 50 - arrive at the vets (5 mins can seem so long)
Step 51 – apologise at the vets 4 the smell
Step 52 – take cat box in2 the vet’s room
Step 53 – apologise 2 the vet’s assistant who has 2 clean out the cat box
Step 54 – vet gives cats once over with no probs
Step 55 – pay the bill
Step 56 – travel home with no interruptions
Step 57 – take cat box upstairs
Step 58 – shut bathroom door
Step 59 – fight with m8 as 2 who has the bog & who has the sink 2 retch in
Step 60 – clean & dry each cat
Step 61 - retrieve cat from attempt on your CLEAN bed
Step 62 – open the cat flap
Step 62 – both cats dive out of the cat flap
Step 63 – remove all clothin & put on a wash in machine
Step 64 – poor urself a large drink
Step 65 – drink said drink & have a moggy free evein (pure cat lovers will worry themselves silly that the cat’s wont’ come back)
Step 66 – feed cats as norm the next morning
Based on a true story cat & joker promotions
P.S. dog owners need not worry this does not apply 2 em!!!
Cats are great aren't they.
