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The Chillout Room
Takin the cats to the vets
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<blockquote data-quote="Joker Jen" data-source="post: 133616" data-attributes="member: 149"><p>Optional but helpful Step 1 – gain assistance from a gud m8</p><p>Step 1 - buy a new cat travellin box (cos u lent urs 2 ur brother's mother in law)</p><p>Step 2 - leave the newly bought box in the car until the last possible moment)</p><p>Step 3 - change the catflap so they can get in but not out</p><p>Step 4 - wait 4 em 2 wander thro the catflap</p><p>Step 5 - 20 mins l8r wonder if they r gonna come in</p><p>Step 6 - 10 mins l8rm get stressed that they have got wind of the visit</p><p>Step 7 - rattle tin of cat food so they think it's tea time</p><p>Step 8 - put food down in the hope that it'll persuade em 2 come in</p><p>Step 9 - worry where they r</p><p>Step 10 - open the back door & call em lovingly </p><p>Step 11 - worry where they r</p><p>Step 12 - consider callin the vets 2 cancel</p><p>Step 13 - see 1 in the bushes</p><p>Step 14 - rattle tin of cat food </p><p>Step 15 - 1 of em wanders thro the door</p><p>Step 16 - call the other 1 lovingly</p><p>Step 17 - shut the door cos the 1's that's in will get out</p><p>Step 18 - rattle tin again</p><p>Step 19 - the other 1 appears from nowhere</p><p>Step 20 - call the 1 that's left </p><p>Step 21 - pray as he draws near</p><p>Step 22 - as soon as in range grab hold & don't let go</p><p>Step 23 - open the door & shove him thro as well as urself</p><p>Step 24 - breath a huge sigh of relief that u don't have 2 cancel the vets appt again</p><p>Step 25 – go out 2 the car & retrieve the cat box</p><p>Step 26 – lower cat box 2 floor height & open the front door</p><p>Step 27 shove cat box thro the front door (carefully) & get thro asap urself</p><p>Step 28 – put cat box down in the middle of the floor</p><p>Step 29 – cover cat box in cat nip in the hope that it’ll smell more apeallin 2 cats</p><p>Step 30 see the look of horror on the cats’ faces</p><p>Step 31 – 1 runs upstairs & the other tries 2 escape thro the cat flap</p><p>Step 32 – retrieve the cat from the cat flap, put a heavy box in front of the cat flap, so escapee can’t escape</p><p>Step 33 – pick 1st cat up, mind the talons they r out now</p><p>Step 34 – try 2 put said cat in the cat box</p><p>Step 35 - repeat steps 32,33</p><p>Step 36 – after succesful completion of 35 find the other cat</p><p>Step 37 – retrieve cat from upstairs, bein careful of talons</p><p>Step 39 – try 2 put cat no 2 in cat box without cat no 1 escapin</p><p>Step 40 – repeat steps 35 – 39 until successful</p><p>Step 41 – put cat box in car</p><p>Step 42 – start the jounery (vet’s practise only 5 mins away)</p><p>Step 43 - Keep an eye on meowin cats</p><p>Step 44 – Sing happily this helps</p><p>Step 45 – Open windows 2 stop urself bein sick cos of the smell</p><p>Step 46 – Blame the smell on farmers muck spreadin</p><p>Step 47 – check on cats</p><p>Step 48 – open car window, the smell isn’t down 2 the farmer</p><p>Step 49 – the cat makes attempt 2 hide the offendin smell by sittin on it</p><p>Step 49 – breathe in thro the window & out in the car</p><p>Step 50 - arrive at the vets (5 mins can seem so long)</p><p>Step 51 – apologise at the vets 4 the smell</p><p>Step 52 – take cat box in2 the vet’s room</p><p>Step 53 – apologise 2 the vet’s assistant who has 2 clean out the cat box</p><p>Step 54 – vet gives cats once over with no probs</p><p>Step 55 – pay the bill</p><p>Step 56 – travel home with no interruptions</p><p>Step 57 – take cat box upstairs</p><p>Step 58 – shut bathroom door</p><p>Step 59 – fight with m8 as 2 who has the bog & who has the sink 2 retch in</p><p>Step 60 – clean & dry each cat</p><p>Step 61 - retrieve cat from attempt on your CLEAN bed</p><p>Step 62 – open the cat flap</p><p>Step 62 – both cats dive out of the cat flap</p><p>Step 63 – remove all clothin & put on a wash in machine</p><p>Step 64 – poor urself a large drink</p><p>Step 65 – drink said drink & have a moggy free evein (pure cat lovers will worry themselves silly that the cat’s wont’ come back)</p><p>Step 66 – feed cats as norm the next morning</p><p></p><p>Based on a true story cat & joker promotions</p><p></p><p>P.S. dog owners need not worry this does not apply 2 em!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Joker Jen, post: 133616, member: 149"] Optional but helpful Step 1 – gain assistance from a gud m8 Step 1 - buy a new cat travellin box (cos u lent urs 2 ur brother's mother in law) Step 2 - leave the newly bought box in the car until the last possible moment) Step 3 - change the catflap so they can get in but not out Step 4 - wait 4 em 2 wander thro the catflap Step 5 - 20 mins l8r wonder if they r gonna come in Step 6 - 10 mins l8rm get stressed that they have got wind of the visit Step 7 - rattle tin of cat food so they think it's tea time Step 8 - put food down in the hope that it'll persuade em 2 come in Step 9 - worry where they r Step 10 - open the back door & call em lovingly Step 11 - worry where they r Step 12 - consider callin the vets 2 cancel Step 13 - see 1 in the bushes Step 14 - rattle tin of cat food Step 15 - 1 of em wanders thro the door Step 16 - call the other 1 lovingly Step 17 - shut the door cos the 1's that's in will get out Step 18 - rattle tin again Step 19 - the other 1 appears from nowhere Step 20 - call the 1 that's left Step 21 - pray as he draws near Step 22 - as soon as in range grab hold & don't let go Step 23 - open the door & shove him thro as well as urself Step 24 - breath a huge sigh of relief that u don't have 2 cancel the vets appt again Step 25 – go out 2 the car & retrieve the cat box Step 26 – lower cat box 2 floor height & open the front door Step 27 shove cat box thro the front door (carefully) & get thro asap urself Step 28 – put cat box down in the middle of the floor Step 29 – cover cat box in cat nip in the hope that it’ll smell more apeallin 2 cats Step 30 see the look of horror on the cats’ faces Step 31 – 1 runs upstairs & the other tries 2 escape thro the cat flap Step 32 – retrieve the cat from the cat flap, put a heavy box in front of the cat flap, so escapee can’t escape Step 33 – pick 1st cat up, mind the talons they r out now Step 34 – try 2 put said cat in the cat box Step 35 - repeat steps 32,33 Step 36 – after succesful completion of 35 find the other cat Step 37 – retrieve cat from upstairs, bein careful of talons Step 39 – try 2 put cat no 2 in cat box without cat no 1 escapin Step 40 – repeat steps 35 – 39 until successful Step 41 – put cat box in car Step 42 – start the jounery (vet’s practise only 5 mins away) Step 43 - Keep an eye on meowin cats Step 44 – Sing happily this helps Step 45 – Open windows 2 stop urself bein sick cos of the smell Step 46 – Blame the smell on farmers muck spreadin Step 47 – check on cats Step 48 – open car window, the smell isn’t down 2 the farmer Step 49 – the cat makes attempt 2 hide the offendin smell by sittin on it Step 49 – breathe in thro the window & out in the car Step 50 - arrive at the vets (5 mins can seem so long) Step 51 – apologise at the vets 4 the smell Step 52 – take cat box in2 the vet’s room Step 53 – apologise 2 the vet’s assistant who has 2 clean out the cat box Step 54 – vet gives cats once over with no probs Step 55 – pay the bill Step 56 – travel home with no interruptions Step 57 – take cat box upstairs Step 58 – shut bathroom door Step 59 – fight with m8 as 2 who has the bog & who has the sink 2 retch in Step 60 – clean & dry each cat Step 61 - retrieve cat from attempt on your CLEAN bed Step 62 – open the cat flap Step 62 – both cats dive out of the cat flap Step 63 – remove all clothin & put on a wash in machine Step 64 – poor urself a large drink Step 65 – drink said drink & have a moggy free evein (pure cat lovers will worry themselves silly that the cat’s wont’ come back) Step 66 – feed cats as norm the next morning Based on a true story cat & joker promotions P.S. dog owners need not worry this does not apply 2 em!!! [/QUOTE]
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Takin the cats to the vets
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