I used get these folks quite a lot, and not content with knocking on the door (when there is a bell there - hello?) they would knock, very loudly on the windows as well (wtf?) and as I work nights (not for much longer, 6 more woo woo) they'd often wake me up, so I opened the door one morning and said "Yes?" and this woman just stands there pushing forward a wooden spoon with these beads and the likes hanging off it "want one?" - I couldn't believe she'd knocked on the windows and woke me up to offer me some arse beads or whatever the feck they were - and there's me thinking there was a fire or something, so I just said "No thanks" and she looked at me, smiled and said "your time will come, sonny" - I hate being called sonny, that really wound me up and I just told her to piss off.
The next week, the same thing happened again, but this time there were 3 of them, stood there, and when I opened the door, I was actually quite worried, as I'd got the fear, and thought "fuck, they are multiplying each time"
I felt like I was in a horror film, and just said "errr yes?" and the same thing, they had wooden spoons with little bits of crap dangling off them, "Only £1 each sonny" - fucksake
I didn't even say owt, just slammed the door in their faces and went back to bed.
Nothing then for over a month (I thought, yeah, they'll have got the message) and then one week, a loud bang at the door (like someone was kicking it!!!) so I go down to have a look, and there's a whole fucking family of them out there
I opened the door, raging as I'd been woken up again, and started shouting (without taking a breath) "LOOK, I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOUR FUCKING RUBBISH, I WORK NIGHTS AND YOU PEOPLE KEEP WAKING ME UP, WHY DON'T YOU FUCK OFF TO BRAMHALL WHERE THE RICH FUCKERS WILL BUY ANYTHING TO GET RID OF YOU, AND FOR FUCKS SAKE DON'T CALL ME SONNY AGAIN" and slammed the door.]
That was the last I saw of them, thank Christ.
Just to add:
LOL, was it Yoda?
