Right so i moved in with the boyfriend many months back. Up in the wardrobe was this shoebox, and in this shoebox i knew there were letters, pics etc from former girlfriends. Now i said i would never look, this was scoffed at by Jonno who told me to look, its no biggy- we all have a past. I just knew it would be a bad idea, and i didn't really want to see what they looked like. My friend pointed out they could be really dodgy and rough, but they could equally be amazing and lovely. So best not to look right?
So why the fuck, i mean what compels a normally rational person to look. What morbid curiosity came over me? Why, after 2 years did i pull up a step ladder and look in the box.
Now i am not the jealous type, never have been. Yet as i read these love letters (and fuck me there are loads) i got this right spazzy feeling, like i was on a big roller coaster and my heart was pumping really fast and my vision went wonky. So i am reading and choking at the same time. Its horrible to see someone else call your partner 'sexy' lol or whatever, so gut renching to hear that there has been other lovers in such an obvious way. Its madness because its so long ago, so why do i feel jealous. I have never done this emotion before and i don't like it much. In fact it stinks. Of shit.
So after i read them, all 5 million of them from a plethora of women i go and act like a right mong in a huff with Jonno. My resoning? How dare you have other girlfriends, i mean could'nt you just have waited. So he is looking at me like i am mental, fuck even i was thinking i was mental. But isn't jealousy a funny thing. I can't say why it botherd me quite so much. I mean how daft is it to be jelous of relationships years ago. I am okay now, i can laugh at how daft i was- but Jesus at the time i thought i might combust with this new feeling. Jonno, being a twat has turned this round to his advantage and now is acting dead smug at my bizzare jealous behaviour. Its also not done him any harm for me to know that he is a bit of a casssanova it seems.
My question is do you get jealous, what does it mean? And more so would you look in the box when faced with it? Am i just Miss crazy girlfreind 2006?
So why the fuck, i mean what compels a normally rational person to look. What morbid curiosity came over me? Why, after 2 years did i pull up a step ladder and look in the box.
Now i am not the jealous type, never have been. Yet as i read these love letters (and fuck me there are loads) i got this right spazzy feeling, like i was on a big roller coaster and my heart was pumping really fast and my vision went wonky. So i am reading and choking at the same time. Its horrible to see someone else call your partner 'sexy' lol or whatever, so gut renching to hear that there has been other lovers in such an obvious way. Its madness because its so long ago, so why do i feel jealous. I have never done this emotion before and i don't like it much. In fact it stinks. Of shit.
So after i read them, all 5 million of them from a plethora of women i go and act like a right mong in a huff with Jonno. My resoning? How dare you have other girlfriends, i mean could'nt you just have waited. So he is looking at me like i am mental, fuck even i was thinking i was mental. But isn't jealousy a funny thing. I can't say why it botherd me quite so much. I mean how daft is it to be jelous of relationships years ago. I am okay now, i can laugh at how daft i was- but Jesus at the time i thought i might combust with this new feeling. Jonno, being a twat has turned this round to his advantage and now is acting dead smug at my bizzare jealous behaviour. Its also not done him any harm for me to know that he is a bit of a casssanova it seems.
My question is do you get jealous, what does it mean? And more so would you look in the box when faced with it? Am i just Miss crazy girlfreind 2006?
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