Having a debate with another osa member who sees things like me. Was wandering what you thought. This is one thing that really annoys me and many so called close friends have been guilty of.
whats more important?
- Thread starter nathan
- Start date
Mates before muff.
I've always said it, and it's true, no matter how giddy you get over a girl, when it all goes tits up (pardon the pun) mates will always be there.
It's a shame that a lot of people can't find that balance within a relationship that they have enough time for themselves, their partner, and their friends.
A big relationship killer is the 'smothering effect' where you get too into them too soon, end up cancelling seeing your mates to spend time with them, it's not good, I've been there myself and it's cack.
I've always said it, and it's true, no matter how giddy you get over a girl, when it all goes tits up (pardon the pun) mates will always be there.
It's a shame that a lot of people can't find that balance within a relationship that they have enough time for themselves, their partner, and their friends.
A big relationship killer is the 'smothering effect' where you get too into them too soon, end up cancelling seeing your mates to spend time with them, it's not good, I've been there myself and it's cack.
very very
wise words fella. I hear you loud and clear. I've had mates disappear off the face of the earth for years and then sneak back like they were always there. WRONG.
blue jammer said:
wise words fella. I hear you loud and clear. I've had mates disappear off the face of the earth for years and then sneak back like they were always there. WRONG.
Gotta try and keep seeing your friends - in the long run its not good for you or the girl otherwise
This is something that really p1sses me off!!!!!!!!!!
All my friends are in relationships and all of them have disappeared since meeting their partners, even the ones who swore they would never do it. Then the minute something goes wrong they suddenly turn up again expecting to moan to me about it. I'll always be there for them because i'm a good mate but i know for a fact that it doesn't work the other way round.
One of my mates started seeing her fella just over a year ago, since then i have been out with her once and her fella was there anyway.
There's just no need for it.
All my friends are in relationships and all of them have disappeared since meeting their partners, even the ones who swore they would never do it. Then the minute something goes wrong they suddenly turn up again expecting to moan to me about it. I'll always be there for them because i'm a good mate but i know for a fact that it doesn't work the other way round.
One of my mates started seeing her fella just over a year ago, since then i have been out with her once and her fella was there anyway.
There's just no need for it.
I have not voted as it really is a toughy.
I hear what your saying, and yes it really is terrible when freinds dissapear and come wondering back when it all goes wrong, my friend is very guilty of this and always expects me to drop everything whenever some crisis happens within a relationship.
Its just when you meet someone and they make you feel so alive and great is very hard not to want to spend all your spare time with them, and love is a crazy bloody thing- you loose all sense of reasoning, dont think staight and cannot see anything other then the one you are with. And if you do see your freinds they just make you miss the one your away from more so, i am not saying its right at all- just that sometimes we all go a bit wobbly bonkers over someone and its hard to see whats right and wrong.
Love eh, sometimes i think its a nightmare.
I hear what your saying, and yes it really is terrible when freinds dissapear and come wondering back when it all goes wrong, my friend is very guilty of this and always expects me to drop everything whenever some crisis happens within a relationship.
Its just when you meet someone and they make you feel so alive and great is very hard not to want to spend all your spare time with them, and love is a crazy bloody thing- you loose all sense of reasoning, dont think staight and cannot see anything other then the one you are with. And if you do see your freinds they just make you miss the one your away from more so, i am not saying its right at all- just that sometimes we all go a bit wobbly bonkers over someone and its hard to see whats right and wrong.
Love eh, sometimes i think its a nightmare.
Shooms
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Mates are for life Although I've had some friends who fall in love & their whole world becomes their new partner.... imo its not healthy for their relationships to be together 24/7/365 - they tend to burn out quicker....
& they always try & sidle back into your life like a cat who's been missing for a week knowing full well that you've been worried about it....
Although I've had some friends who fall in love & their whole world becomes their new partner.... imo its not healthy for their relationships to be together 24/7/365 - they tend to burn out quicker....& they always try & sidle back into your life like a cat who's been missing for a week knowing full well that you've been worried about it....
I voted defo for the mates !!
I nearly made the fatal mistake of dropping all my mates but luckily I realised just in time.. as Shabba said all my mates have done the same since they met their b/fs and it really annoys me cos we all said we would never do it .. like I said I was lucky I realised before it was too late but they havent
My mate just split with her b/f and I was that shoulder to cry on but I too know it wouldnt have been like that if it was me.. Shabba .. me and you are too soft !!
At the end of the day if your b/f or g/f loves ya as much as they say then they wont mind ya spending that quality time with ya mates they should understand and do the same with their mates
I nearly made the fatal mistake of dropping all my mates but luckily I realised just in time.. as Shabba said all my mates have done the same since they met their b/fs and it really annoys me cos we all said we would never do it .. like I said I was lucky I realised before it was too late but they havent
My mate just split with her b/f and I was that shoulder to cry on but I too know it wouldnt have been like that if it was me.. Shabba .. me and you are too soft !!
At the end of the day if your b/f or g/f loves ya as much as they say then they wont mind ya spending that quality time with ya mates they should understand and do the same with their mates
Proper m8s understand you are gonna be spending more time with your girl, and dont go in strops lol
Do not cut out your m8s tho
Do not cut out your m8s tho
Your true friends will always be there and so you shouldn't put a relationship before true friendship.
also most relationships are bollox these days anyway!
also most relationships are bollox these days anyway!
ste huxley said:
Absoloutly, what i'm talking about is never being seen since.
I could count on one hand the number of times i've seen my mates (without their partners) since they've been with them and in some cases we're talking years!!!!!!!! And these people live with their partners. We're not talking honeymoon phase here either.
As with everything you've got to find a happy medium.
go shabba!!!
tis odd u dont even get to see yr mates from home even for a crack without thier partners!
its coz yr company is so fantastic that they cant bear to be left out!
its always the handful of bestest friends that are always there to weather any storm with you or enjoy the sunny days with too..
thankfully i am truly blessed with my best true friends.. i treasure them all and they treasure me.. and thats wot counts really
hope to cu sat chic
tis odd u dont even get to see yr mates from home even for a crack without thier partners!
its coz yr company is so fantastic that they cant bear to be left out!
its always the handful of bestest friends that are always there to weather any storm with you or enjoy the sunny days with too..
thankfully i am truly blessed with my best true friends.. i treasure them all and they treasure me.. and thats wot counts really
hope to cu sat chic
A real friend will be there for you when it all goes to sh*t.... even if you've not seen each other for a year. The people who won't talk to you when it goes to sh*t shouldn't be a mate and you've done yourself a favour getting rid of them.
Not really sure about "cutting ya friends out"? Certain mates come around and complain all the time... you don't need that and you tend to see less of them. Other mates come around and have a chat/laff and you try and bring them into your world a bit more.
For me its all a matter of perspective... certain peeps view it one way (i.e. feel dropped and rejected) and others see it another way (i.e. chuffed that your happy).
The flip side is also true, you can also be sh*tty... if your lifestyle involves going out partying all weekend with ya partner then I would suggest that you should involve ya friends (and his/hers) as well, otherwise your being a sh*t mate. If your lifestyle involves staying in and cuddling on the couch then its not so bad... but ya should make the effort to invite them around for a curry and a movie once in a while and do stuff like going out on peeps birthdays.
I guess it depends on what makes you happy and where the relationship is going. I think its a fine balance but at the end of the day a real mate should stick by you as he would with you.
Just my vomit inducing opinion anyhoots.
Not really sure about "cutting ya friends out"? Certain mates come around and complain all the time... you don't need that and you tend to see less of them. Other mates come around and have a chat/laff and you try and bring them into your world a bit more.
For me its all a matter of perspective... certain peeps view it one way (i.e. feel dropped and rejected) and others see it another way (i.e. chuffed that your happy).
The flip side is also true, you can also be sh*tty... if your lifestyle involves going out partying all weekend with ya partner then I would suggest that you should involve ya friends (and his/hers) as well, otherwise your being a sh*t mate. If your lifestyle involves staying in and cuddling on the couch then its not so bad... but ya should make the effort to invite them around for a curry and a movie once in a while and do stuff like going out on peeps birthdays.
I guess it depends on what makes you happy and where the relationship is going. I think its a fine balance but at the end of the day a real mate should stick by you as he would with you.
Just my vomit inducing opinion anyhoots.
Iffffffff...
A mate turned up after being shit for ages and said. Look I realise I haven't been around I was stupid and really caught up witht hat girl/boy I'd be a lot more sympathetic than for someone who just tried to sneak back in without saying a word.
northern minx said:tis odd u dont even get to see yr mates from home even for a crack without thier partners!
its coz yr company is so fantastic that they cant bear to be left out!
its always the handful of bestest friends that are always there to weather any storm with you or enjoy the sunny days with too..
thankfully i am truly blessed with my best true friends.. i treasure them all and they treasure me.. and thats wot counts really
hope to cu sat chic
A mate turned up after being shit for ages and said. Look I realise I haven't been around I was stupid and really caught up witht hat girl/boy I'd be a lot more sympathetic than for someone who just tried to sneak back in without saying a word.
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Amelie said:
Very true indeedy Lesley...and if yer mates are proper mates they understand that, an are just happy that your happy, no matter how less often you catch up with em than when you was single.
I don't think there should be any need to think about dividing your time, you should just go with the flow....when you feel like spendin time with your nearest n dearest...do so...an when you feel like spendin time with yer mates...do so!
Every couples different as to the amount of time they can spend with each other without goin loopy, personally...I have a right grin when I go out with me pals but even tho Im havin a top time, I find meself missin Trace loads while im away. Its whatever suits every indervidual couple.
Always thought that mates were more important till recently, but now i'm not sure, coz ur boyfriend is like a best mate anyway, n if ur mates have any relationship experience they will understand the situation n still b there 4 u as you would 4 them if they found some1 special. But it is a pain in the arse wen a mate totally neglects u 4 a bloke, sometimes feel like sayin, wot r u gunna do wen it all goes tits up, whos gunna b there then. Fink uv gotta get the balance right n spend time wi both ur mates n ur bloke, or even better, see em both 2geva n have the best of both worlds
