Women !!

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Pixie

New member
Jul 16, 2001
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Back oop north!
www.
WOMEN

They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh
when they are nervous
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up for injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer when
they believe there is a better solution.

They go without new shoes so their
children can have them.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and
cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about a
birth or a new marriage.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a
broken heart.

Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail
you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!
Women do more than just give birth.
They bring joy and hope.
They give compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have a lot to say and a lot to give.

This has been sent to you from someone who
respects you as a woman
Pass it along to your woman friends to
remind them how amazing
they are............

IT'S BEAUTIFUL WOMEN MONTH!

IT'S GOOD TO BE THE WOMAN.

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious
gynaecological disorder excuses.

Taxis stop for us.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever
rival The Speedo.

We don't have to pass wind to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our team-mate without
ever touching her arse.

We never have to reach down every so often
to make sure our privates are still there.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex
without having to picture them naked.

If we marry someone 20 years younger,
we're aware that we look like an idiot.

There are times when chocolate really can
solve all your problems.

We'll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by
looking at their shoes.

We can make comments about how silly men
are in their presence, because they aren't listening
anyway.

SEND THIS TO FIVE BRIGHT WOMEN YOU KNOW AND MAKE THEIR DAY !!!
 

fugjostle

Active member
Oct 12, 2001
1,592
0
36
22
Leek
www.fugjostle.com
What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Pregnant

If a man says something in the woods, and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

What do 60,000 abused woman have in common?
They don't feckin listen!

What are the three fastest means of communication?
Internet.
Telephone.
Telawoman.

How is a woman like a condom?
They both spend more time in your wallet than on your wodger.

How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
Phone her.

What's the difference between a girl and a toilet?
A toilet doesn't want to cuddle after you drop a load in it.

How do you make a woman orgasm?
Who cares !!!!

What's the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

What do you call a bag full of fannies?
Clitoris Allsorts.

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

Why do women have orgasms?
It gives them something to moan about.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she is told.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A few extra that made me giggle like a japanese schoolgirl
at a take that concert.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

My girlfriend can't wrestle, but you oughta see her box!

Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle.

Which came first? The woman or the department store?

My wife says if I go fishing one more time, she's going to leave me. I am going to miss her.

The worst day fishing is better than the best day working.

Save Water - Take a bath with your neighbor's daughter.

Life's too short to dance with ugly women.

My other wife is beautiful.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.

I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.


---
Fug
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder
 

Dj M Jaxx

New member
Oct 12, 2001
6,904
0
0
53
YORK UK
www.myspace.com
O dear Fug m8........ I fear trouble on the horizon for you fella

Lololol though m8

specialy this one

If a man says something in the woods, and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

One for the Ladys....just to balance things out an all that

2 women talkin in a cafe

1st woman " Dos'e yr a**ehole hurt after sex ??"
2nd woman " I don't know...... he is usualy asleep by then "
 

Clare Wrexham!

New member
Jan 14, 2002
476
0
0
manchester
Oh fugjostle what a charming guy you are, a real asset to the male species.

Your fantastic wit astounds me, hahahahahaha.... what amazing jokes, your mother must be sooo proud.

Tell me dear are you single?
 

pacman

New member
Nov 11, 2001
2,752
0
0
48
Manchester
Clare Wrexham! said:
Oh fugjostle what a charming guy you are, a real asset to the male species.

Your fantastic wit astounds me, hahahahahaha.... what amazing jokes, your mother must be sooo proud.

Tell me dear are you single?

Aint dat da truth.
 

sirius

Registered Member
Dec 28, 2001
5,309
0
0
46
Meeeeeeeeeeiiiiiooooooow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.


So its OK to sprout on about how good women are, and most often than not how stupid and pathetic men are - but then as soon as anyone sez owt back.....................Im getting sick of it on the telly ads all the time too. :ba: :rolleyes:........:)


OK, I dont really like gender bashing either way round - but this made me laff though fug........

"If a man says something in the woods, and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?"

and Pixie:

"We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing" - Errm, that would be me then.........:$


See yerz,

Sirius.
 

Joker Jen

Active member
VIP Gold Member
Oct 8, 2001
4,512
0
36
Secret Location in Gotham City
Pixie said:
WOMEN

They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh
when they are nervous
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up for injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer when
they believe there is a better solution.

They go without new shoes so their
children can have them.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and
cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about a
birth or a new marriage.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a
broken heart.

Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail
you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!
Women do more than just give birth.
They bring joy and hope.
They give compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have a lot to say and a lot to give.

This has been sent to you from someone who
respects you as a woman
Pass it along to your woman friends to
remind them how amazing
they are............

IT'S BEAUTIFUL WOMEN MONTH!

IT'S GOOD TO BE THE WOMAN.

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious
gynaecological disorder excuses.

Taxis stop for us.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever
rival The Speedo.

We don't have to pass wind to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our team-mate without
ever touching her arse.

We never have to reach down every so often
to make sure our privates are still there.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex
without having to picture them naked.

If we marry someone 20 years younger,
we're aware that we look like an idiot.

There are times when chocolate really can
solve all your problems.

We'll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by
looking at their shoes.

We can make comments about how silly men
are in their presence, because they aren't listening
anyway.

SEND THIS TO FIVE BRIGHT WOMEN YOU KNOW AND MAKE THEIR DAY !!!

That is so apt of how I've felt 2day it's unreal!!! No need 2 send on from here cos there's a lot more than that on here!!!