- Jul 18, 2001
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Ian Holloway - quality bloke !
- Thread starter Shooms
- Start date
- Jul 18, 2001
- 17,768
- 23
- 27
- 53
I reckon Villa should bid for Gerrard, that way both of them get their wish to play together & Gerrard can come to a club that has true ambition & board that can afford it. 
BTW if he's on the flight Wednesday then he's going to play... & if he plays he's no use to Liverpool for their CL qualifiers....
BTW if he's on the flight Wednesday then he's going to play... & if he plays he's no use to Liverpool for their CL qualifiers....
I reckon Villa should bid for Gerrard, that way both of them get their wish to play together & Gerrard can come to a club that has true ambition & board that can afford it.
BTW if he's on the flight Wednesday then he's going to play... & if he plays he's no use to Liverpool for their CL qualifiers....
lol Gerrard for Villa, thats who we will back tracking for the january sales
if he comes though he will also have to make do with being lower down the pecking order for captains armband with the likes of Reo, barry and laursen all in front of him 
we could part exchange for Petrov ?:$
Funny bloke, but I always think of him now as the one in charge when we dropped outside the top 2 tiers of footy for the 1st time in our history :|
Some of his past pearls of 'wisdom'
* "It's like the film Men in Black. I walk around in a black suit, white shirt and black tie where I've had to flash my white light every now and again to erase some memories, but I feel we've got hold of the galaxy now. It's in our hands."
- Holloway on QPR's financial situation.
* "It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake."
- Holloway states his opinion about the linesman's performance in a game against Bristol City.
* "I call us the Orange club - because our future's bright!"
- on QPR's potential.
* "He's been out for a year and Richard Langley is still six months away from being Richard Langley, and I could do with a fully fit Richard Langley."
- on midfielder Richard Langley's injury rehabilitation.
* "It's all very well having a great pianist playing but it's no good if you haven't got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play."
- after being criticised for using defensive players in midfield.
* "I am a football manager. I can't see into the future. Last year I thought I was going to Cornwall on my holidays but I ended up going to Lyme Regis."
- asked whether QPR would be able to beat Manchester City.
* "To put it in gentleman's terms if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they're good looking and some weeks they're not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren't the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let's have a coffee"
- on the "ugly" win against Chesterfield.
* "You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go."
* "I always say that scoring goals is like driving a car. When the striker is going for goal, he's pushing down that accelerator, so the rest of the team has to come down off that clutch. If the clutch and the accelerator are down at the same time, then you are going to have an accident."
* "I've got to knock that horrible smell out of my boys, because they smell of complacency."
* "I have such bad luck at the moment that if I fell in a barrel of boobs I'd come out sucking my thumb."
* "Every dog has its day, and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark!"
- Holloway after securing promotion to the Championship.
* "When my wife first saw Marc for the first time, she said he was a fine specimen of a man. She says I have nothing to worry about, but I think she wants me to buy her a QPR shirt with his name on the back for Christmas."
- on QPR's new Danish striker Marc Nygaard.
* "Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings."
- on veteran striker Paul Furlong.
* "We need a big, ugly defender. If we had one of them we'd have dealt with County's first goal by taking out the ball, the player and the first three rows of seats in the stands."
- after a defeat against Notts County.
* "You never count your chickens before they hatch. I used to keep parakeets and I never counted every egg thinking I would get all eight birds. You just hoped they came out of the nest box looking all right. I'm like a swan at the moment. I look fine on top of the water but under the water my little legs are going mad."
* "There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth."
* "I don't see the problem with footballers taking their shirts off after scoring a goal? They enjoy it and the young ladies enjoy it too. I suppose thats one of the main reasons women come to football games, to see the young men take their shirts off. Of course they'd have to go and watch another game because my lads are as ugly as sin."
- Ian Holloway about the new rule restricting footballers from removing their shirts during a match.
* "Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you hit the moon."
* "I believe in what I am doing totally and once people speak to me they do too - I could sell snow to the Eskimos."
* "We've got a good squad and we're going to cut our cloth accordingly, but I think the cloth that we've got could make some good soup, if that makes any sense".
- Despite popular belief, Holloway was in fact misquoted as saying "soup" but actually said "suit".
* "I want to try and spread the support with my Bristol connection. Rovers are in the bottom division so why can't I try and convert some of them into Argyle fans? We're in the West Country so it's not that far away. Only two and a half hours away in a slow car, an hour and a half in a fast one - or 10 minutes in a rocket! As long as you aimed it right, you'd be down here really quickly. Don't land it on the pitch, though, because you'd ruin it!"
* " It was a bit cheeky wasn't it? But I don't think it was that bad. It would have been worse if he'd turned round and dropped the front of his shorts instead. I don't think there's anything wrong with a couple of butt cheeks personally. I think he's a funny lad and he was having a joke. I don't think he meant to offend anybody. If anybody's offended by seeing a backside, get real. Maybe they're just jealous that he's got a real nice tight one, with no cellulite or anything. I thought his bum cheeks looked very pert. If anybody's offended by that they ought to go and see the doctor. "
- on Manchester City midfielder Joey Barton mooning Everton fans
* " Hasney's bust his hooter. He can smell round corners now."
- on an injury sustained by central defender Hasney Aljofree
* "I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season"
* "When you're a manager it's a case of have suitcase will travel. And I certainly didn't want to travel with my trousers down."
* "I am not very happy at all, it is self-inflicted. What a complete chicken nugget with double barbecue sauce he is."
- after Paul Connolly is injured against Cardiff
* "I would like to say I saw Georges Santos' goal but I had to run off and go to the toilet, I saw Paul Furlong's goal, though. I reckon the ball was travelling at 400mph, and I bet it burned the keeper's eyebrows off."
- after his side's 2-0 win at Crewe
* "My wife says I'm only interested in three things and they all begin with F. Food, football and I can't repeat the last one."
* "David Moyes looks like Ronald McDonald, Martin Jol is a dead ringer for Shrek, Neil Warnock is Mrs Doubtfire and I'm Gollum."
* "Chris Charles: Finally, have you been following the horses at Cheltenham?
Ian Holloway: No, because I can't catch them!"
* "I don't like Ben Foster because he's just ended my dream. I am sick whenever I lose. Just ask my mum what I was like even when I lost at tiddlywinks as a kid. We threw everything we could at them - the kitchen sink, the golf clubs, everything. We emptied the garage and threw it at them - at least my garage is tidy now."
- Ian Holloway after Watford keeper Ben Foster ended their FA Cup ambitions.
* On Soccer AM
"Helen: So have you thought about the possibility of playing at the new Wembley?
Ian Holloway: No, 'cause I never thought it'd be ready on time."
* "I was thinking about it the other night when I couldn’t sleep. I was sat drinking a cup of cocoa and thinking that being a football manager is like being a fish.One minute you are in your tank and that tank is everything. The next minute you are flushed down the toilet and you don’t know where you are. Hopefully, you will jump into another tank. It’s weird.To a fish, that take must be everything but when you are thrown out on gardening leave, you are still swimming but you can’t get back in your tank. Its very surreal and horrible.I had it at Bristol Rovers where I really cared and I thought the world would stop if I was out of my bowl or tank.You keep swimming, but for a while, you don’t want to swim and you keep nudging the tank because you want to get back in.I am now in another tank and you have to adjust. It is weird."
* "I'm all geared up for the Derby game. I'm looking forward to it although it's raining heavily down here at the moment. I haven't quite finished my ark yet, so it's a bit worrying.But we've got our water rings and a rubber ring ready and Derby don't know about that so we've got one up on them already."
"The last thing I'd want to do is go shopping with a load of wives to be honest! It ain't the best situation to be in. I come over all strange when I'm stood in the lingerie department in those places. I need a right tablet!"
* "If I was in there I wouldn't try to be everybody's friend. I'd have to say 'Excuse me, hang on a minute, I think you're wrong there. Don't raise your voice at her like that, don't get like that. It's just an Oxo cube, we got it wrong and we're all in this together'. It's like the Witches of Eastwick. They need Jack Nicholson to come in and sort them right out."
- on the bullying of Shilpa Shetty on Celebrity Big Brother 2007.
* "Sepp Blatter: you are an idiot. Put the rules back to what they should be. He is a complete lunatic."
* "I'm like a cheap teabag, I don't stay long in the cup"
* "There were some complications with his operation and they had to get him to go under again. His eye filled up with blood, and all sorts of stuff. When they moved it, they trapped a blood vessel and it looks absolutely horrific. You wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley. He looks like Count Dracula's kid brother, but he'll soon be back to the good-looking lad that he is, whereas I'm stuck looking like this, which is something he did tell me last weekend."
- On Bojan Djordic's injury
"I don't like cricket. I think it's a pathetic game. It takes far too long and if the batsman just blocks it... how boring's that? As I see it, when the bowler bowls the ball, he walks back and the rest of the team, who are standing around not doing much, throw the ball around to each other. Then he gets it back and rubs it on his groin. I've always been a bit worried about a game that lets its players do that in public. Why you'd want to ruin a lovely pair of white trousers by putting a red crease down the middle on your crotch I'll never know."
"I watched Arsenal in the Champions League the other week playing some of the best football I've ever seen and yet they couldn't have scored in a brothel with two grand in their pockets"
"My God these pop stars go through partners like a cheap pair of underpants, don't they?"
:|Some of his past pearls of 'wisdom'
* "It's like the film Men in Black. I walk around in a black suit, white shirt and black tie where I've had to flash my white light every now and again to erase some memories, but I feel we've got hold of the galaxy now. It's in our hands."
- Holloway on QPR's financial situation.
* "It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake."
- Holloway states his opinion about the linesman's performance in a game against Bristol City.
* "I call us the Orange club - because our future's bright!"
- on QPR's potential.
* "He's been out for a year and Richard Langley is still six months away from being Richard Langley, and I could do with a fully fit Richard Langley."
- on midfielder Richard Langley's injury rehabilitation.
* "It's all very well having a great pianist playing but it's no good if you haven't got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play."
- after being criticised for using defensive players in midfield.
* "I am a football manager. I can't see into the future. Last year I thought I was going to Cornwall on my holidays but I ended up going to Lyme Regis."
- asked whether QPR would be able to beat Manchester City.
* "To put it in gentleman's terms if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they're good looking and some weeks they're not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren't the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let's have a coffee"
- on the "ugly" win against Chesterfield.
* "You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go."
* "I always say that scoring goals is like driving a car. When the striker is going for goal, he's pushing down that accelerator, so the rest of the team has to come down off that clutch. If the clutch and the accelerator are down at the same time, then you are going to have an accident."
* "I've got to knock that horrible smell out of my boys, because they smell of complacency."
* "I have such bad luck at the moment that if I fell in a barrel of boobs I'd come out sucking my thumb."
* "Every dog has its day, and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark!"
- Holloway after securing promotion to the Championship.
* "When my wife first saw Marc for the first time, she said he was a fine specimen of a man. She says I have nothing to worry about, but I think she wants me to buy her a QPR shirt with his name on the back for Christmas."
- on QPR's new Danish striker Marc Nygaard.
* "Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings."
- on veteran striker Paul Furlong.
* "We need a big, ugly defender. If we had one of them we'd have dealt with County's first goal by taking out the ball, the player and the first three rows of seats in the stands."
- after a defeat against Notts County.
* "You never count your chickens before they hatch. I used to keep parakeets and I never counted every egg thinking I would get all eight birds. You just hoped they came out of the nest box looking all right. I'm like a swan at the moment. I look fine on top of the water but under the water my little legs are going mad."
* "There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth."
* "I don't see the problem with footballers taking their shirts off after scoring a goal? They enjoy it and the young ladies enjoy it too. I suppose thats one of the main reasons women come to football games, to see the young men take their shirts off. Of course they'd have to go and watch another game because my lads are as ugly as sin."
- Ian Holloway about the new rule restricting footballers from removing their shirts during a match.
* "Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you hit the moon."
* "I believe in what I am doing totally and once people speak to me they do too - I could sell snow to the Eskimos."
* "We've got a good squad and we're going to cut our cloth accordingly, but I think the cloth that we've got could make some good soup, if that makes any sense".
- Despite popular belief, Holloway was in fact misquoted as saying "soup" but actually said "suit".
* "I want to try and spread the support with my Bristol connection. Rovers are in the bottom division so why can't I try and convert some of them into Argyle fans? We're in the West Country so it's not that far away. Only two and a half hours away in a slow car, an hour and a half in a fast one - or 10 minutes in a rocket! As long as you aimed it right, you'd be down here really quickly. Don't land it on the pitch, though, because you'd ruin it!"
* " It was a bit cheeky wasn't it? But I don't think it was that bad. It would have been worse if he'd turned round and dropped the front of his shorts instead. I don't think there's anything wrong with a couple of butt cheeks personally. I think he's a funny lad and he was having a joke. I don't think he meant to offend anybody. If anybody's offended by seeing a backside, get real. Maybe they're just jealous that he's got a real nice tight one, with no cellulite or anything. I thought his bum cheeks looked very pert. If anybody's offended by that they ought to go and see the doctor. "
- on Manchester City midfielder Joey Barton mooning Everton fans
* " Hasney's bust his hooter. He can smell round corners now."
- on an injury sustained by central defender Hasney Aljofree
* "I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season"
* "When you're a manager it's a case of have suitcase will travel. And I certainly didn't want to travel with my trousers down."
* "I am not very happy at all, it is self-inflicted. What a complete chicken nugget with double barbecue sauce he is."
- after Paul Connolly is injured against Cardiff
* "I would like to say I saw Georges Santos' goal but I had to run off and go to the toilet, I saw Paul Furlong's goal, though. I reckon the ball was travelling at 400mph, and I bet it burned the keeper's eyebrows off."
- after his side's 2-0 win at Crewe
* "My wife says I'm only interested in three things and they all begin with F. Food, football and I can't repeat the last one."
* "David Moyes looks like Ronald McDonald, Martin Jol is a dead ringer for Shrek, Neil Warnock is Mrs Doubtfire and I'm Gollum."
* "Chris Charles: Finally, have you been following the horses at Cheltenham?
Ian Holloway: No, because I can't catch them!"
* "I don't like Ben Foster because he's just ended my dream. I am sick whenever I lose. Just ask my mum what I was like even when I lost at tiddlywinks as a kid. We threw everything we could at them - the kitchen sink, the golf clubs, everything. We emptied the garage and threw it at them - at least my garage is tidy now."
- Ian Holloway after Watford keeper Ben Foster ended their FA Cup ambitions.
* On Soccer AM
"Helen: So have you thought about the possibility of playing at the new Wembley?
Ian Holloway: No, 'cause I never thought it'd be ready on time."
* "I was thinking about it the other night when I couldn’t sleep. I was sat drinking a cup of cocoa and thinking that being a football manager is like being a fish.One minute you are in your tank and that tank is everything. The next minute you are flushed down the toilet and you don’t know where you are. Hopefully, you will jump into another tank. It’s weird.To a fish, that take must be everything but when you are thrown out on gardening leave, you are still swimming but you can’t get back in your tank. Its very surreal and horrible.I had it at Bristol Rovers where I really cared and I thought the world would stop if I was out of my bowl or tank.You keep swimming, but for a while, you don’t want to swim and you keep nudging the tank because you want to get back in.I am now in another tank and you have to adjust. It is weird."
* "I'm all geared up for the Derby game. I'm looking forward to it although it's raining heavily down here at the moment. I haven't quite finished my ark yet, so it's a bit worrying.But we've got our water rings and a rubber ring ready and Derby don't know about that so we've got one up on them already."
"The last thing I'd want to do is go shopping with a load of wives to be honest! It ain't the best situation to be in. I come over all strange when I'm stood in the lingerie department in those places. I need a right tablet!"
* "If I was in there I wouldn't try to be everybody's friend. I'd have to say 'Excuse me, hang on a minute, I think you're wrong there. Don't raise your voice at her like that, don't get like that. It's just an Oxo cube, we got it wrong and we're all in this together'. It's like the Witches of Eastwick. They need Jack Nicholson to come in and sort them right out."
- on the bullying of Shilpa Shetty on Celebrity Big Brother 2007.
* "Sepp Blatter: you are an idiot. Put the rules back to what they should be. He is a complete lunatic."
* "I'm like a cheap teabag, I don't stay long in the cup"
* "There were some complications with his operation and they had to get him to go under again. His eye filled up with blood, and all sorts of stuff. When they moved it, they trapped a blood vessel and it looks absolutely horrific. You wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley. He looks like Count Dracula's kid brother, but he'll soon be back to the good-looking lad that he is, whereas I'm stuck looking like this, which is something he did tell me last weekend."
- On Bojan Djordic's injury
"I don't like cricket. I think it's a pathetic game. It takes far too long and if the batsman just blocks it... how boring's that? As I see it, when the bowler bowls the ball, he walks back and the rest of the team, who are standing around not doing much, throw the ball around to each other. Then he gets it back and rubs it on his groin. I've always been a bit worried about a game that lets its players do that in public. Why you'd want to ruin a lovely pair of white trousers by putting a red crease down the middle on your crotch I'll never know."
"I watched Arsenal in the Champions League the other week playing some of the best football I've ever seen and yet they couldn't have scored in a brothel with two grand in their pockets"
"My God these pop stars go through partners like a cheap pair of underpants, don't they?"
