A belated welcome to one of:
Has anyone explained the secret handshake yet? I bet they havent, standards are slipping round here......
Welcome to the flock, machine, and Im sure you will be looking forward to the annual sacrifice.........one classic record offered to the gods of Oldskool. Its bloody Im afraid, prising the said items from the clapsing fingers of fellow believers, but you will soon get used to it.
Dont forget to cancel all holidays, work, and any sort of outdoors activity from now on, you will learn to reaslise they are futile imaginations of the mind, and that all your senses will be filled by the all empowering pull of the OldSkool. Be at one with the OSA.
Quick, be on your way and post regularly newcommer, before you arise any suspicions.
I bid ye fairwell my mancunian comrade,
Grandwizzard Sirius of the Elms.