Your favourite Bernard joke...

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big sam

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I dont believe Scots are as tight as ppl say, but I did hear that when two taxis collided in Glasgow recently 48 ppl were injured...

A scouser went to a prostitute. She said 'do you want a blow job? He said 'will it affect my dole money'

Whats the difference between an Iraqi woman and a pilchard? One ugly, greasy with bulging eyes. The others a fish

Bernard Manning. RIP
 
A

AB45

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Dec 31, 2003
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Its hard to post a PC joke from the man but this has always made me laugh.

A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. He walks up to the bar and says a pint of larger please. The bar man looks at him and says ''wow where did you get that from?''

The parrot says ''Africa there's fuckin loads of em.''

:D

que the racist accusations lol;)
 
S

Shooms

Active member
Jul 18, 2001
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Everywhere & nowhere baby, that's where I'm at...
www.piraterevival.co.uk
AB45 said:
Its hard to post a PC joke from the man but this has always made me laugh.

A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. He walks up to the bar and says a pint of larger please. The bar man looks at him and says ''wow where did you get that from?''

The parrot says ''Africa there's fuckin loads of em.''

:D

que the racist accusations lol;)
Click to expand...

Racist bastard :p
 
S

Shooms

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Jul 18, 2001
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Everywhere & nowhere baby, that's where I'm at...
www.piraterevival.co.uk
manning2.jpg


:D
 
N

nathan

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Sep 6, 2001
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north west london
www.cometogether2.co.uk
quality

AB45 said:
Its hard to post a PC joke from the man but this has always made me laugh.

A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. He walks up to the bar and says a pint of larger please. The bar man looks at him and says ''wow where did you get that from?''

The parrot says ''Africa there's fuckin loads of em.''

:D

que the racist accusations lol;)
Click to expand...


jokes like that that make me slightly happy he's dead
 
I

ilovepiano

Active member
Jul 9, 2002
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AB45 said:
A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. He walks up to the bar and says a pint of larger please. The bar man looks at him and says ''wow where did you get that from?''

The parrot says ''Africa there's fuckin loads of em.''
Click to expand...


lol, how anyone could say that is "racist" is beyond me....
 
A

anthonyf218

Member
Jul 31, 2005
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ilovepiano said:
lol, how anyone could say that is "racist" is beyond me....
Click to expand...

exactly. not a racist imo, took the piss out of anyone, black, while, fat, thin etc, etc. Cheap laughs - yes, and not PC these days, but theres a difference between not being educated in the realm of today's pc-friendly world, and being a racist. (imo phones: )

Man running down street
fella says to him ,whyya running mate?
There's a lion escaped from zoo
Bloody hell which way is it going?
You dont think I'm chasing F...... thing do ya.


blind man goes into Lewis’s.
An assistant spots him standing in the middle of the ground floor swinging his guide dog around by its lead above his head.
The assistant says ‘Can I help you sir?’
The man replies: ‘No thanks. Just looking round

A Chinese and an English men speaking in a Chinese Takeaway. English men "where's your bin?" "I've been to Hong Kong" "No, no - where is your wheelie bin?" "I've weally bin to Hong Kong"

A woman asks her husband for £3000 for a boob job. £3000 ? you must be ******ing joking he said, get a folded up piece of toilet paper & keep rubbing it up & down your cleavage. Will that make my boobs bigger she asks. Why not says he - it works well enough on your arse

Went down to (Manchester) City the other day & a bloke asked me how to get into the ground.
"You go round the corner & theres two queues- a big one & a little one.
Dont get in the big one-thats for the chippy"
 


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