For the first time since I was about 8 and my 'hero'(Dad) left, I'm now happier than I ever can remember.
Was on a downward spiral for so long I thought it was the bestest helterskelter ride ever - only I really wanted to get off, just didn't know how.
Thankfully I found the stop button at the end of last year. I turned 35 in Feb this year
From a very lonely, scared and un-trusting person I am rebuilding my life, a little bit at a time.
This year I found the courage to reach out and ask for help. I also asked if my two children could forgive me and allow me to be part of their lives. I've also come to terms with the fact that actually, I'm not as bad a person as I think I am.
Since starting to look after myself and allow myself to be more open about how I feel, my worries and looking toward leaving my past behind, I can be there for those that I couldn't be there for before.
This weekend I'm off to Scotand, meeting up with Keira my youngest again and introducing her to her aunt,uncle and nephews on Saturday. Sunday we go and meet Gran, Gramps and mama(great gran) all for the first time.
I've even been able to forge connections between Keira and Naomi(my eldest) and let them both know about each other - it's all going swimmingly.
So this year is going great for a change.
Happy - yup I'm as happy as a lottery winner that's more happy handing the ticket to someone that needs it.
Sure money can help in life - but for me and my family, being part of it is what counts.
Del