OSA Dragon's Den

[leaky]

Hahaha, this is clearly the invention of someone who gets a similar amount of sex as me, which is FOOK ALL at mo!!!

My fellow Dragon Debra Weed-on has stormed out in disgust, which is great cos lookin at her sour wrinkly face would put u of yer stroke. All the other Dragons have thorouhly tested ur invention out and it actually put a smile on that misserable Jock ones face!

We are so impressed that between us we have decided to chuck in the "full load"!!!

As for a name, how about "THE WANKOMATIC 1000"? Although the name may kinda give it away if you were sat on a train N that!.

hahaha tickled me pink that

 

[Benny-Digital]

Comb-unders for people who can't grow beard...

 

[Bonanza]

Comb-unders for people who can't grow beard...

Now this one is gunna take some clever marketing, cos basically we are selling people their own hair!

I have got it, we sell them a comb-under grooming kit, consisting of cheap as fook gel made of lard and glue, call it styling wax (you can double the price then) and a plastic comb (that we will call an 'i comb', the 'i' will make it irresistable to young-uns and we can chuck an extra fiver on again). Get one of them twats out of X - Factor band One Erection on board (one of em must have one of them stupid floppy hair cuts that can be 'styled' into a comb-under), that will make all the idiot teenagers think its cool. Then we just fleece the fook out of the teenage fashion sheep! Will cost us £2 a set, sell it for £20.

Think we are onto a winner, just need a name for it now???

 

[Jiglo]

Hello Dragon....

My invention that i'd like to pitch to you tonight is the Cheesy Music Deflector, that stops shoite music from registering on the gallop chart, such as any spin off of X Factor.

It works by using a process called the bribe and how it works is by finding the head honcho who compiles the sales figures that make up the stats from which the charts are made from and offering him/her quite a bit of money in exchange for doctoring the figures.

Now although it might not be fair, sporting, or British you might well say. It will give the country the smile factor back and increase happiness and love in the world.

I hear that the process that is used to make my invention the 'Cheesy Music Deflector' is a well know and well tested mechanism that shapes the world of politics, business, sports, media etc. So it's guaranteed to be a sure fire hit and all I need is say 100k to make this one of the best Christmas's in years

 

[Bonanza]

Hello Dragon....

My invention that i'd like to pitch to you tonight is the Cheesy Music Deflector, that stops shoite music from registering on the gallop chart, such as any spin off of X Factor.

It works by using a process called the bribe and how it works is by finding the head honcho who compiles the sales figures that make up the stats from which the charts are made from and offering him/her quite a bit of money in exchange for doctoring the figures.

Now although it might not be fair, sporting, or British you might well say. It will give the country the smile factor back and increase happiness and love in the world.

I hear that the process that is used to make my invention the 'Cheesy Music Deflector' is a well know and well tested mechanism that shapes the world of politics, business, sports, media etc. So it's guaranteed to be a sure fire hit and all I need is say 100k to make this one of the best Christmas's in years

I think this one is of vital national importance! In these dark and gloomy times this idea is sure to lift the spirits of the whole nation (apart from the fuckwits). Anything that can save us all from the above said mindless bland, grey cheesey, vomit of satan X Factor type shite, is well worth 100k.

All the Dragons will chip in on this one, IF you can also guarantee that we never have to hear Chryl Cole's and Joe McKeldry's voices again?!?!

 

[Amelie]

Ha! I have loads, i am always going on about em an all.

The main ones being something that stops kids emptying the bath ( a suction thang that keeps the plug in place) or summat that stop kids taking their arms out of car seats. Boring, i know- but frig, such is my life now.

I have always said there should be a little light on the dashboard that lets you know what gear you're in so you don't have to wriggle it to check.

I am not saying anymore in case one of you's thieving cunto's use my idea's!

 

[Jiglo]

.......

I have always said there should be a little light on the dashboard that lets you know what gear you're in so you don't have to wriggle it to check.
......

Already got something like that in my car. It tells me if I need to change up or down gear(s) and the optimal gear to be in

 

[Bonanza]

Ha! I have loads, i am always going on about em an all.

The main ones being something that stops kids emptying the bath ( a suction thang that keeps the plug in place) or summat that stop kids taking their arms out of car seats. Boring, i know- but frig, such is my life now.

I have always said there should be a little light on the dashboard that lets you know what gear you're in so you don't have to wriggle it to check.

I am not saying anymore in case one of you's thieving cunto's use my idea's!

The plug thing is a good idea. How about a mini plunger type thing, with a detachable handle. So you put the suction thing over the plug and then screw off the handle (which has a release button on it to release suction when you want to take it off). This might actually sell!

Went to Florida and got a baby seat with the hire car and it had a plastic clip thing that held the two shoulder belts together. I think this is the type of thing you mean, can't think why they dont have it over here?

 

[jcf]

ME: (walks up the stairs nice and cool with holdall) Hello dragons

DRAGONS: Hi. So tell us, what's the idea?

ME: (pulls shotgun from holdall) It's a simple concept. Put the fucking money in the bag

 

[Bonanza]

ME: (walks up the stairs nice and cool with holdall) Hello dragons

DRAGONS: Hi. So tell us, what's the idea?

ME: (pulls shotgun from holdall) It's a simple concept. Put the fucking money in the bag

Suprisingly enough all the Dragon's are very interested in this one! Not one of them has made a smart arse, condescending, belittling remark (that's a first!). Theo Flatfeetis has actually pissed his pants! :S

They are all in on this one, you get the full amount of the money, for no equity.